5 Strategies To Overcome Disturbing Perfexionist Nature

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JAKARTA - Perfectionism can be like a coach who at first seemed to want you to be successful. But then scold and force you to train until you're tired, and scream while trying to rest.

If you struggle with perfectionism, remember that this will not go away overnight and it takes time to learn how to overcome it. Here are five strategies to help you start releasing perfectionist seeds and be better to yourself, reported by Psychology Today, Tuesday, April 30.

Identifying fundamental beliefs and rules that encourage your behavior will be very helpful. For example, many perfectionists have the basic belief that they are not 'good enough'. As a result of this belief, they adhere to certain rules that force them to become perfect. For example, 'I have to be perfect, or I will be rejected,' or 'I have to be perfect, or will fail.' Often these beliefs and rules are formed in childhood. Realizing these beliefs and rules, as well as their impact on various areas of life, can be the first key in the process of replanting such beliefs.

Take time to evaluate your expectations honestly. It's not realistic to expect you to never fail or make mistakes like everyone does. Consider how you can create more realistic expectations for yourself. If creating realistic expectations, you can fulfill them. You will also build confidence, one thing that can help fight perfectionism.

Perfectionism often leads to losses. These losses include the loss of quality time spent with others, the loss of the enjoyment of moments present today, and the loss of connection with oneself. Many perfectionists have difficulty changing standards for fear of failure. Reflecting on the losses caused by perfectionism in various areas of life can help you realize that the loss is greater than the benefits. This awareness can help increase motivation in overcoming perfectionism and become a useful reminder when you feel tempted to give in to your inner criticism.

Individuals who struggle with perfectionism are often too prepared and actively avoid making mistakes. Or placing themselves in situations where they may be bad in a way. This fear can hinder learning that mistakes do not determine self-esteem and will most likely not cause others to reject it. It would be very helpful if you engage in activities you are concerned about would be detrimental. Assume this activity as an experiment that can help challenge assumptions about yourself, train unrealistic expectations, and build resilience.

Consider starting with low-risk activities that don't cause anxiety, then moving on to high-risk activities over time. This can be a process that triggers anxiety and takes time, but in the end it can be very helpful for many perfectionists.

Perfectionism thrives in silence and isolation. Often perfectionists are surprised to learn that many others are also experiencing similar problems once they start to open up about this. This can reduce the feeling of shame that usually accompanies perfectionism.

You can start by identifying one person in a life you trust and share with him about how you feel. Another option is to attend a support group with other people who are also struggling with perfectionism. The more you train to become vulnerable to people you trust, you will feel unisolated and freer.