Feeling Alone And Lonely In Coupled Relationships, Here Are 7 Triggers

Illustration of lonely and feeling alone in a couple relationship (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA In a couple relationship, ideally each of them who is committed to each other plays a role in building harmonious networks. But sometimes the reality doesn't match the ideal view. The ups and downs of relationships, demanding that couples do more to build healthy relationships. Well, if you've ever felt lonely in a couple relationship, it's not without reason.

According to marriage therapist Joy Berkheimer's family, PhD., loneliness is more about feeling disconnected. While feeling alone is a feeling like you are in a team alone or feeling your partner doesn't really understand you. If you feel alone and lonely, it means that the contribution of a couple is not 'thief'. This can be triggered by certain things, here's the explanation.

Life can be very busy and if it is not balanced with the commitment to spend time with each other, it means that you and your partner are living a parallel life. You are busy prioritizing relationships, but your partner doesn't. This makes you often feel alone and lonely, even if you sit with your partner in one room.

Of course everyone has personal goals. But when committed to partnering, it means mutual support. If your partner does not support your personal goals, it may feel alone and lonely in achieving goals. Because your partner doesn't care and doesn't try to support you to achieve your goals.

Apart from having individual goals, couples often set common goals. For example getting married, buying a house, having children, or traveling the world. If you feel fully responsible for working towards or achieving one or more of these common goals, you can feel very alone or lonely in your relationship, explains Berkheimer.

Having shared value is one of the foundations for building healthy pairwise relationships. To get the foundation material, efforts from the two pairs of people are needed. Whether it's open, honest, trustworthy, to mutual respect, and asymptomatic communication. But if the values held by these two coupled people are not in harmony, it may feel incompatible and lonely.

Couple relationships need to be built with equal relations. If someone tries to change their partner, and acts as a mentor or judge, it will certainly not be balanced. Relationships can be one-sided and the team in building harmonious relationships will not be solid.

If the daily reality is very different from what your partner understands, it makes you feel alone even if you have a partner. Berkheimer reported Well+Good, Friday 4 October, having a partner means being able to chat openly and understand each other. Differences in understanding, maybe it can be discussed so that it gets a middle ground. But it's also important to build a connection together, so that one doesn't feel lonely and alone.

Disconnected feelings can occur when verbal or nonverbal requests to connect do not reply. In a couple's relationship, offers include physical affection, jokes, excitement, sexual seduction, and respect. With these conditions, it can trigger distance in relationships. Even two people who coupled stay away from each other.

After understanding the trigger for loneliness and feeling alone in a couple relationship, it is very important to find out how to fix it. Start to communicate from heart to heart and open up to each other. Make an agreement with your partner to build a healthier relationship and proactively seek harmony in pairs.