JAKARTA - There is no single formula to raise children well. After all, raising children is not a definite knowledge. A little bit of art is needed in the world of parenting.
However, researchers who research parenting consistently find that parents who apply authoritative parenting in raising children will produce children who are happier, healthier and able to face real-world challenges.
The good news is, everyone has the ability to become authoritative parents. You can match this kind of authoritative parenting strategy with your child's unique temperament to make sure you don't use an inappropriate approach in parenting.
Unlike authoritarian parents, who believe that children should be monitored, parents are not authoritative to hear the child's opinion well. Reporting from Very Well Family, Monday, December 4, authoritative parents listen to their children's concerns and let their children share ideas.
So even if a child tells the same jokes for the tenth time or shares a long story, be a good listener. Giving children positive attention will help prevent behavioral problems.
Authoritative parents acknowledge their child's feelings. They help their child label every emotion they feel. And teach children to recognize how that feeling affects behavior.
So when the child is upset, don't underestimate his feelings by saying, 'It's not a big deal,' or'stop crying'. There's no reason to be angry.' Because for the child, this may be a big problem. Validation of his emotions by saying, 'Mother/Father know you are very sad right now.'
Fix the behavior, not the emotions. Tell the child that it's okay to feel angry, but you will have consequences if the anger is channeled by hitting. Invest your energy to teach your child an acceptable way to deal with feelings.
Authoritative parenting means considering the child's feelings. However, that does not mean that children get the same voice. This is a form of permissive parenting. Show your child that you are in control, but show that you also care about the influence of your decisions on all family members.
Authoritative parents have clear house rules. They make sure their children know their previous expectations and explain the reasons behind the regulation.
So, instead of saying, 'Stay down because you're the one who ordered it,' it's better to say,'step down so you can help your body and brain grow.'
When children understand safety issues, health hazards, moral problems, or social reasons behind your regulations. They will develop a better understanding of life. They will also be more likely to follow the rules if you are not there to enforce them.
Authoritative parents do not make their children suffer because of their mistakes. They avoid embarrassing their children and do not use physical punishment. They also do not use the child's guilt to punish. They help their children realize that even though their children have made bad choices, they are not bad people.
Create consequences that will help children learn to do better in the future. If he hits his brother, don't hit him. Instead, take special powers. Then, focus on teaching anger management skills or better conflict resolutions.
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Authoritative parents give their children the opportunity to choose when faced with small choices. This empowers children and will prepare them to make bigger decisions in the future.
So ask the child, 'Do you want guberna or corn?' or 'Do you want to clean your throat before or after dinner?' The key is to make sure you give your child choices.
Authoritative parenting is not interested in controlling children. They try to teach children to control themselves. So, don't immediately calm your children whenever they are upset. On the other hand, teach them how to calm down. And don't scold your children for doing their job.
Help children become more responsible for completing their own work. Create a behavior management plan that focuses on teaching life skills. Control of impulses, managing anger, and self-discipline will be beneficial for children in living life.
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