6 Reasons Why Feelings Are Difficult To Identify

Illustration of the reasons why feelings are difficult to identify (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA Not a few people have difficulty identifying their feelings. Especially when they are in a difficult and unexpected situation. Maybe what is felt is only 'emptyness' which is different from physiological sensations, or called emotional. Feelings and emotions are different, but both can be present at the same time. Sometimes, realizing feelings can be by identifying physical sensations. Launching clinical psychologists who specialize in dealing with anger, trauma resolution, couple conflicts, and depression, Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., here are the reasons for the difficulty of identifying feelings.

You could say it's in a threshold situation, when feelings haven't crystalted or haven't been focused yet so it can't be identified. This situation is experienced when you feel something in the body, for example a throat is blocked, the body is shaking, the heart rate is fast. However, because the trigger is not yet known, what kind of feelings are experienced, it is still difficult to define.

When more than one feeling is integrated, it may feel confusing because it cannot be separated and distinguished. Seltzer gave an example, when anger and hurt by injustice, one emotion shows disturbing unfair feelings. Others mark feelings of helplessness or disappointment.

There is also a so-called 'bipolar emotion', which feels bitterness and at the same time sweet. In such cases, you may be adrift between these two emotions. When you have competing' emotions to each other, it can also lead to ambivalence and delays in identifying.

Many words are used for labeling' feelings. Such as disappointment, anger, joy, happiness, and others. But this phenomenon is fairly new about emotions, that the literature is getting more widespread. Examples, the word malur in Indonesian means a sudden experience of feeling constrained, inferior, and awkward when you are near people with higher status. When a feeling is difficult to identify, perhaps because you don't have the right words to define those feelings.

Children may experience this often, because their feelings are limited because they have not had a lot of life experiences. Physical sensations are also still at a developmental level, so they often do not recognize the name of the feeling.

Causes of feelings are difficult to identify, due to dissociation. When you escape a feeling during a self-defense mechanism, or called dissociative, then a feeling of death' to a certain situation. Seltzer explains, this occurs when overwhelmed by external circumstances or from outside. Feelings sometimes become into something that cannot be tolerated. A person may try to escape by wandering into other times or places.

Even when you try, it remains difficult to access feelings that are internally 'censored'. Many people learn to blacklist certain feelings. For example, raised in a home full of anger and loss of patience, resulting in severe punishment and those who experience learning to break ties with anger. Seltzer also gave an example, some of the parents' parenting styles ask their children to hide their feelings of sadness. The therapists call it sudden emotional suppression. But when it appears, it will be encouraged to remove it altogether.

That's the reason why feelings are difficult to identify. Launching Psychology Today, Seltzer suggests, it is important to be intact and fully connected to ourselves. This is useful for finding feelings that we must previously reject. In addition, rejecting certain feelings tends to make people act negative. Like blaming others, cheating or passively-aggressive behavior, storing or being silent to others, or engaging in other dangerous behaviors.