About Sex, What Needs To Be Communicated With Your Partner? Here's What The Expert Advises

Illustration of the importance of communication in husband and wife relationships (Pexels/Ba Tik)

JAKARTA – Communicating with your partner is a way to understand each other. This includes understanding and making agreements with partners about sex. When two people are committed, both will respect and listen to each other.

Talking about sex, maybe for some couples it is considered taboo or embarrassed to open up about each other's preferences. In fact, being open to each other can actually improve the quality of relationships, intimacy, and sex is more enjoyable.

What needs to be discussed and agreed with your partner about sexual activity? Here's the list.

Explain the values you hold

Establishing choices and values that are held needs to be discussed with a partner. Discussing this topic is meant to validate your partner's perspective. If different, how can you and your partner exchange ideas to find an agreed solution?

These values, for example, relationship patterns, whether monogamous or otherwise, including sexual activity including touching, kissing, penetration, oral sex, masturbation, use of sex toys.

Talk about wishes

Desires that need to be discussed include how to invite your partner to have sex, when, where, and how. In expressing 'wants' there is neither right nor wrong. It's about what's acceptable and what's not.

Talk about safe sex

It is important for every couple to talk about safe sex. Including preventing sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, and what contraception to use.

How to overcome obstacles

For couples, of course, it is important to overcome the 'barriers' to love. Meeting the needs of children, injury or illness, long-distance relationships, work, these things can make it difficult for couples to build an ideal sex life.

In order to be realistic and not trigger conflict, all these things need to be discussed. Then together with your partner, you can adjust your lifestyle starting from small things so that 'obstacles' can be overcome.

Agree on schedule and references

This of course also needs to be done because it is related to the fantasies and desires of each partner so that there are no misunderstandings or disagreements that make sexual life dry.

Many people believe that sex is more fun if done spontaneously. But many couples are easily distracted by other things. This means it is necessary to set a time for making out.

As reported by The Guardian, a psychosexual and relationship therapist, Krystal Woodbridge, explained the following.

“Poor communication about sex is often a sign that you are communicating poorly about everything”.

Justin Lehmiller, an academic who specializes in sex, love, and relationships, recommends that trust and intimacy can be built with light conversation. For example, about consent, contraception, then switch to what feels good and what doesn't.