Feeling Empty Even Though Life Looks Good, Here's the Reason

Illustration of the cause of feeling empty even though life looks fine (Freepik/magnific)

YOGYAKARTA - From the outside, your life may seem fine. Work goes well, relationships with your partner feel warm, the family seems happy, and various life needs are quite fulfilled. However, behind all of that, you may secretly feel empty, as if something is missing even though it's hard to explain what it is. Feeling empty even though life seems fine can actually be related to unmet emotional needs, including experiences since childhood.

Psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D. reported by Psychology Today, Wednesday, August 5, explains that emptiness can be related to childhood emotional neglect or emotional neglect in childhood. Emotional neglect occurs when a child's emotional needs are not adequately attended to, understood, or responded to by those who care for them. This condition is not always seen as a bad event because it often arises through things that are not given to the child, such as attention to feelings and emotional validation.

Children who are used to not having a space to talk about their feelings can learn that emotions are not something to be concerned about. When sad, angry, scared, or disappointed do not get an adequate response, children may choose to suppress or ignore these feelings. According to Webb, this pattern can be carried over into adulthood and make it difficult for someone to recognize what they are really feeling.

Illustration of the cause of feeling empty even though life looks fine (Freepik/Magnific)

Interestingly, this experience does not always mean that a person grows up in a bad family or has parents who deliberately ignore their feelings. Webb explained that parents may also not be accustomed to recognizing and responding to emotions because they themselves did not have that experience when they were small. As a result, the same pattern can last from one generation to the next without being truly realized.

When an adult, a person may seem very capable of living their life. He can work well, build healthy relationships, take care of his family, achieve various goals, and still carry out his routine as usual. However, the ability to live all of this does not automatically mean that his emotional needs have been met.

Emptiness can also appear in a form that is not always easily recognizable as an emotional problem. You may feel numb, lonely even though you are with other people, find it difficult to enjoy things that are actually fun, or not know what you are feeling. There is also a possibility that you will continue to seek new activities and achievements because stopping for a moment will make the emptiness feel even more.

Therefore, facing emptiness does not always mean you need more achievements. One step you can try is to start paying attention to your own emotional life. You can stop for a moment and ask, "What am I really feeling right now?" or "What do I need?"

Recognizing emotions may feel foreign if you've been used to putting them aside. However, giving names to feelings such as sadness, disappointment, anger, fear, loneliness, or even relief can help you understand yourself better. Emotions are not something that should always be immediately fixed, because sometimes emotions actually provide clues about needs that you have not listened to.

So, feeling empty even though life seems fine does not mean you are not grateful for the life you have. It could be, there is a part of you that needs attention, acceptance, and space to feel. If the feeling of emptiness lasts a long time or starts to interfere with daily life, talking to a psychologist or mental health professional can also be a viable step to consider.