Reasons Why Debt To Friends Can Be Harmful

Illustration (Karolina Grabowska/Pexels)

JAKARTA - A new psychological study in the United States shows that debt to friends can backfire on a friendly relationship.

Ashley Angulo and her colleagues' study of "Friendship fallout and bailout backlash: The psychology of borrowing and lending" published "Journal of Consumer Psychology" in 2024 found that a feeling of not being free might be felt by a debtor after a friend who lent some of his money felt entitled to supervise for what money they spent.

"As lenders, friends will feel that they have control over debtors," Angulo said on the Psychology Today page as reported by ANTARA.

When the money is a gift or payment, people will not judge the friend regardless of whether the money is used for necessary textbooks or fun games. But if the money comes from a loan, people will be more angry with their friends for spending their money on games than for books. Not only that, the author also found that the feeling still applies even after the borrower paid off his loan.

In other words, friends may still be "angry" when they find out that debtors are spending money on something that is underestimated and not needed, even though the money they lend has been returned. The feeling of the right to supervise remains, even after the loan transaction has been completed.

On the other hand, the debtors feel that the debt givers are actually not entitled to supervise the use of the money they lend. Or, even though it is difficult, they prefer to raise emergency funds so they don't need to be in debt, rather than borrow and then deal financially with their friends. Anger and the right to supervise do not match a healthy friendship.