Sorry Must Be In Accordance With Timing, Here's The Guide So That The Relationship Remains Harmonious

YOGYAKARTA Apologize when we make mistakes. By apologizing, in the context of a couple relationship, partners know that we are admitting mistakes and trying to get better. Apologize if it's not right on timing, it could be because you feel obliged to believe it or just an attempt to temporarily stop your guilt. According to licensed psychotherapist Sarah Chotkowski, LICSW., apologizing when not guilty is dangerous and not good for a relationship.

Chotkowski suggested, before apologizing, have to ask yourself first, do I have to apologize for what I did? If the answer is yes, then the apology deserves to be said. Specifically, Chotkowski explains about when proper timing would apologize, among others at the following moment:

1. If you violate the agreement in your relationship with your partner

"Apologies need to be made when someone violates the deal," Chotkowski said. According to him, the agreement is the basis for the agreement. Meanwhile, finalizing the agreement determines whether the relationship is healthy.

Relationship agreements can be pronounced explicitly and regularly reviewed. This means that it is not something one partner assumes. Apologize for violating rules or regulations, asserting that you are committed to a relationship and offering to review this agreement so as to support developing relationships.

If your partner's sympathy or happiness is the most important value for you, and you make unpleasant comments about your partner's time-consuming activities, meaning you violate the core values. Of course when doing so it is necessary to apologize. Because with an apology, it is reflected in the understanding that you do not behave inappropriately to the value you expect.

Many people often apologize for being nervous, awkward, and not for making mistakes. This needs to be realized, apologizing sometimes natural reflexs and should be avoided.

"If your instincts are to apologize immediately, this may indicate that you are uncomfortable with your own actions and you want to be free from these feelings," Chotkowski explained.

His advice is to try to accept feelings of discomfort and find out what prompted him to attend. Tolerating this discomfort, it must be done independently and does not have to depend on your partner.

Apologizing sometimes only becomes a sweetener for lips or pleasantries to avoid conflict. It needs to be realized, when apologizing, you have to sacrifice your partner's trust. So if you don't be serious, you don't need to apologize.

Chotkowski's message, don't make it an apology as an excuse. Because apologies shouldn't force other people to give emotional support to you. In addition, apologizing is also not to find excuses for your partner to admit your shortcomings. Plus, when apologizing, it must be accompanied by specific reasons why you follow it.

That's the explanation of the timing guide to apologize and be useful in building a harmonious relationship. It is important to understand, apologize regarding trust. So it must be said appropriately, do not let this expression be used as a alat' so that your partner is more sympathetic or spoken when you do not violate agreements with your partner.