3 Reasons Why Boredom Appears Even In Healthy Relations

Illustration of the reasons why boredom arises in a healthy relationship (Freepic/coconie_studio)

YOGYAKARTA Many people have a healthy and happy couple relationship. But some couples may feel bored and restless even though they have a healthy relationship. What is the reason why boredom can come when a couple's relationship is in good health?

Like a rollercoaster, relationships with emotion go up and down could be the reason why boredom arises in a healthy relationship. If you've experienced a lot of ups and downs, you're most likely to experience a phenomenon known as intermittent enforcement, explains clinical psychologist Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D. In addition, similar to gambling, there's a bit of anxiety involved in the phenomena experienced. Even if there's more of the lowest point than the highest, one might retain those relationships in the hope they can return to the highest relationship they've experienced before.

Referring to research, increasing anxiety can increase feelings of interest in potential partners. The same phenomenon can occur when you are in a relationship that feels like an emotional rollercoaster.

This phenomenon is also supported by explanations related to brain performance, that the brain is designed to pay attention to new stimuli. In a stable and consistent relationship, stimulation is accepted simply because the brain has adapted to excitement. Therefore, emotional rollercoasters often cause anxiety and uncertainty about what will happen next and as a result, these feelings can be misinterpreted as strong excitement, passion, and chemistry.

According to Zarrabi, this is usually faced by people who grow up in home where one parent acts as a supporter or caregiver. So as an adult, you may be interested in adopting the role of caregiver or trying to organize your partner's mood at the expense of yourself. As a result, when you find a healthy and balanced relationship that doesn't require you to sacrifice your authentic needs and feelings to defend it, it may initially feel boring.

If you learn from the start that romantic love often involves uncertainty or inconsistency, you may be most attracted to couples who avoid or are not emotionally available. When in a healthy relationship, it may feel like something is missing because the usual tension doesn't exist and the relationship doesn't encourage a different experience.

As a result of the three reasons above, healthy relationships also feel boring because they do not cause anxiety and uncertainty levels like the previous relationship.