5 Reasons Why Parents Can't Spoil Their Children

Illustration of reasons why parents need to avoid spoiling their children (Unsplash/Sandy Millar)

YOGYAKARTA – Pampering children can cause problems when they reach adulthood, research says. Child indulgence is defined as giving children something to meet the needs of adults, not theirs, says professor emeritus of psychology at Concordia University, David Bredehoft, Ph.D..

Through the results of his research, Bredehoft, shows that parents who pamper their children are not for the welfare of their children. His research involved 3.531 adults to explore the experience of being pampered by their parents.

Launching Psychology Today, Thursday, August 18, Bredehoft's research found that more than half of the respondents, or 57 percent, felt that overindulgence was related to problems/events in their parents' lives. Among these, parents feel guilty about overwork, the death of a family member, and illness. Although there are many other reasons parents spoil their children, but it's worth reconsidering this behavior, why? Here is the explanation and the reason.

1. Children need to learn many things

Pampering children has to do with making them happy or happy all the time. Even though there is a lot they need to learn, including being able to be happy without material luxuries.

Illustration of reasons why parents need to avoid spoiling their children (Unsplash/Paige Cody)

2. Recognize wants and needs

Not every wish that is realized is needed in life. Cited from VeryWellFamily, it is important to teach children the difference between wants and needs. By limiting pampering or even avoiding it, it makes it easier for children to identify what they need most.

3. More self-respect and healthy relationships

Healthy relationships are not replaced by material goods as a manifestation of fulfilling the wishes of children, or even parents. That way, children and parents value emotional closeness more and make more use of time together. The positive effect is that children value themselves more.

4. Educate children to be responsible

The more things you have, the more responsibility you have to take care of them. This is often overlooked. That is, if you consider buying a lot of things that children want, then change it by how capable children are with what they have.

5. Pampering can make children less disciplined

Discipline needs to be taught from an early age. This is the reason why it is necessary to reconsider when pampering children, because pampering will make them less disciplined. In addition, parents also need to agree or explain the rules that need to be obeyed and implemented in life.

That's an explanation of the reason why parents should not spoil their children. To try to control the indulgent behavior, parents need to be more authoritative and teach children valuable life skills.