Have you ever persuaded a friend to accompany him for a walk even though he didn't really want to go? Or interrupted a partner while he was making a work call? Or sent a message to a colleague after working hours? If so, it could be that you make them feel uncomfortable acting past the limits, even though you don't actually mean that.
According to the American Psychological Association, reported by Very Well Mind, Tuesday, April 23, boundaries or boundaries are the limits set by a person to protect themselves in an activity, situation, or relationship. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, financial, or related to time, space, and energy.
Not respecting boundaries can cause significant damage to relationships, according to Dr. Meghan Marcum, psid. When boundaries are constantly broken, it shows damage to security and trust in relationships, says Dr. Marcum. So contributes to the onset of conflict, emotional pressure, and avoidance with each other.
Dr. Marcum shares some strategies that can help you learn how to understand and respect other people's boundaries:
Communicating clearly
Clear communication can help you understand what makes the person comfortable. And knowing what kind of boundaries need to be built. Clear communication avoids the formation of assumptions.
Pay attention to non-verbal gestures
In addition to the words raised, it will be very helpful if you pay attention to non-verbal signals such as speech and body language. These factors can help you measure their level of comfort. For example, if the tone of the speech is not sure, the posture is closed, or he tries to change the topic, it can show that he feels uncomfortable with what you ask of him.
Receive no answer
When someone says no, they set clear boundaries. It is important to respect this, just as you want other people to respect your boundaries.
Don't be offended
Don't assume if someone sets a limit, it means you make a mistake or that person doesn't like you. Limits are often related to the form of protecting yourself and how much tolerance a person has at that time. Do your best so that you don't get offended easily.
Remember that everyone's needs are different
Each individual needs to set boundaries based on their own preferences, tolerance, and abilities. It is important to respect other people's boundaries even though they seem ridiculous to you or different from what you think is acceptable.
Olah reaksi emos Anda
When someone sets a limit in their relationship with you, you may feel rejected. So that in the end you feel hurt, angry, disappointed, shocked, or embarrassed. It will be very helpful if you reflect on the reason for feeling that way. Processing emotional reactions can help you accept boundaries or find other ways to meet your needs.
Try to understand the reasons behind these limits
When you disagree with someone's boundaries, it will be very helpful if you explore the reasons they set them up to help you better understand their perspective. If the limits appear too rigid, you can express your opinion. Start with affection and let that person decide what is best for them.
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Note that boundaries may change
In a new relationship, be it friendship, romantic relationships, work relationships, or more, you often know each other and learn each other's boundaries. These boundaries may become looser or tighter as your relationship develops, depending on your dynamics.
Identify your own limits
Try to identify your personal boundaries. That way you will have a better understanding when other people around you state their limits.
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