Let's Not Cause Burnouts, Recognize 5 Limits To Be Good Listeners

Illustration of boundaries to become good listeners so as not to cause burnout (Freepik/stockking)

YOGYAKARTA Be a good listener, can establish healthy relationships. But it's important to recognize the limits so as not to cause yourself to experience burnouts or fatigue. More importantly understood, as well as you can, it remains important to get good treatment just like the one you give to those closest to you. Like when you become a good listener and help others solve the problem. You also deserve attention, at least other people can understand your position when you are down.

Apart from getting the same thing, you also don't need to ignore your own feelings to be a good listener. Yvonne Casta happeneda, MSW., LICSW., a clinical social worker who focuses on therapeutic support and treatment for people with complex trauma, suggests setting boundaries when being a good listener, among others.

Being a good listener in a certain space, such as work relationships, friendship, love, family, certainly has a different role. So it's important to emphasize to yourself how you have to respond according to your space and role. Be a good listener, don't judge and take direct action to ignore your personal needs. Be a good listener, you earn trust from others. But don't ignore yourself. If you're tired, you can take a temporary distance as a reaction, but don't think of it as a solution.

Maybe you go into problem breaking' mode when other people experience problems. This will make you tired, especially if other people ignore your advice. In that dynamic, you may feel disappointed and angry, because you are ignored even people who receive advice don't contact you. So Casta wayeda's advice, identification, accept, and forgive all your roles in creating the dynamics.

Empathy will beat the solution. That is, empathizing with what a person feels is more helpful than offering a solution. You can still be a good listener without pushing them to focus on positive things. For example, by empathizing and saying 'I've never experienced a situation when I feel sad'.

Sometimes people need to talk to other people to know what they think. So offer your perspective and explain the situation based on your own experience. In this way, you remain a good listener while preventing you from developing any expectations about the outcome.

If you're used to being a 'problem solver', you'll feel uncomfortable changing your approach and maybe a little bit of guilt arises. Casta happened to suggest, embrace your discomfort. Launching Psychology Today, Monday, November 27, embracing discomfort means giving yourself the opportunity to thrive.

The above are the five boundaries when you are trusted to be a good listener. It's also important to develop so that you don't get tired of being someone who solves other people but ignores the emotional well-being of yourself.