YOGYAKARTA Reply to anger with a similar emotional frequency, it will not solve the problem, it will actually make the atmosphere even hotter. Anger, it is known that many people are the destroyer of the harmonious relationship. But no one has ever felt negative emotions, right? So, how to act or respond if your partner is angry? Overcoming angry people, certain skills are needed. Here's an effective strategy to deal with an angry partner.
When you try to confront angry people, maybe they will be very defensive and uncooperative. It's not wise to respond to anger angrily. It's better to let your partner get angry first. Try to calm down, because the calmer you will be the sooner your partner's anger subsides.
Assertive acting is a way to position yourself so that you can express your desire directly and respectfully while considering your partner's feelings and desires as well. When you act decisively with respect, trust, self, and openness, then you have become assertive. That way you can make your partner empowered in taking their responsibility.
Criticism is necessary, but not all criticism is constructive. Angry people may feel disappointed and ignored. To avoid this, you should be an active listener until your partner feels heard and understood. Try to understand their deepest needs. Apart from the validation of what your partner communicates. This does not mean you fully agree, but it is important to recognize your partner's perspective without assumptions, give a clear, calm, and loving assessment.
Under anger, it is usually more vulnerable, such as being filled with fear, sadness, pain, or perhaps selfish. Anger serves as self-protection, reported by Good Therapy, Monday, May 29. But if you are constantly angry, it can drain the energy and hurt the closest people. This is why it is important to be compassion for your partner when they are angry.
Face with patience, because patience is an obstacle to anger. This requires wisdom and about calm, not speaking or inviting reactions. Patience and affection are the basis of positive energy and strengthen cooperation among people.
Choosing your battle, is a term in the military that is relevant to the situation in the relationship. Since everyone has their hopes, expectations, and preferences, one needs to be selective in negotiating it. Relationships are also merging war', you can find many topics that can be debated with your partner. But it is important to be selective so that relations are developed positively and constructively.
Reflecting is not a waste of time. But it is a stage in evaluating the action. If the action is too reactive, you and your partner need to both understand the trigger. Also understand if one of you is angry and finds a reliever immediately. Because the more aware you are, it may become less reactive and more constructive. The result, may be prosperous for you and your partner.
Clear thoughts are found in a calm condition, not in anger. Understand, when your partner's emotional condition is burdened, his cognitive condition may be disrupted. There's no point in dealing with your problems as long as your anger dominates. So, give your partner time until his anger subsides. Only then can you open a rational chat. Listen and understand, other than taking time to calm yourself down.
VOIR éGALEMENT:
In addition to the seven strategies to relieve your partner's anger above, it is important to show that you affect your partner in creating positive circles. That is, you need to control yourself, treat your partner sweetly, and understand your own feelings to get productive results.
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