Not Just Tired, This Is A Psychological Explanation Behind Ghosting Behavior

Illustration of ghosting. (Freepik)

JAKARTA - Everyone must feel that everything is going well when approaching a potential partner, such as sending a smooth message, laughing together, having a chance to meet and talk.

But suddenly he disappeared without news? No messages and no separation. You just realized it was already being ghosted.

This ghosting phenomenon is increasingly occurring in the digital era. From just acquaintances in the application to close enough relationships. Then it just disappeared without explanation, it was not rare.

But is it true that they left because they were bored or not interested anymore? The following is the scientific explanation behind this behavior, as reported by the Psychology Today page.

1. Men Do Ghosting More often

Research on 626 adults in Spain found young people and men tend to ghost more often (Navarro et al., 2020).

The reason is that the digital world gives a sense of distance and anonymity that makes a person more daring to avoid without having to face other people's reactions.

Through a dating application, everything feels instant. Just shift, chat, then disappear. Prospective couples are easy to come and go. But that convenience doesn't mean it can be used as justification. Respect remains important, even though it's only through the phone screen.

2. Believe in Fate

Still from the same study, it was found that people who believed in relationships were determined by fate or mate turned out to be more able to accept ghosting.

For them, if someone goes missing, it means it's not the person.

However, people who believe that relationships should be fought for are more difficult to accept ghosting and logically, that makes sense. Healthy relationships are built from communication, not silence.

3. Terlau Intens Relations Make Couples Escape

In a study involving more than a thousand participants aged 16'21 years, it was found that excessive communication could trigger ghosting. Sending messages too often, demanding continuous attention, or always wanting to know the presence of a partner can make a person feel depressed.

In such conditions, some people choose shortcuts by disappearing.

It's not that they don't care, but they feel they prefer to be silent rather than have to face emotional tiring conversations.

4. Signs of Ghosting can be seen from his personality

Research by Jonason and colleagues found ghosting actors tend to have the traits of the Dark Economy personality, namely:

- Narsistics which means feeling yourself is the most important and doesn't care about the feelings of others.

- Manipulative that issuka controlling the situation for personal gain.

- Hygiene is a lack of empathy and impulsiveness.

People with personalities like this are easier to leave without explanation because they don't feel necessary. In a short-term relationship, this trait is even more prominent.

If someone is only talking about themselves, avoiding responsibility, or looking manipulative, then be aware.

5. Ghosting Doesn't Mean Cruel

You may think ghosting actors are evil or heartless. But research shows not everyone doing ghosting is cruel. In an interview with 34 ghosting actors, almost everyone can explain their reasons.

The three main reasons are:

- Avoid quarrels or confrontations.

- Feeling that your partner is not at the level socially or emotionally.

- Want to move on quickly.

Interestingly, some of them feel guilty after doing so. This means that ghosting is often done not because they hate, but because they don't know how to end relationships maturely.

6. The Impact of Ghosting Longer Than Directly Hurts

Research in 2025 found people who were ghosted and people who were immediately rejected both felt hurt, but the victims ghosted longer to recover.

They tend to want to contact the perpetrator, accompany social media or ex-partner's online activities and find it difficult to escape emotionally because they don't get a clear solution. Ghosting does not make the pain lighter, but makes the wound last longer.

7. Ghosting is done because it doesn't want to hurt

It sounds ironic, but there are also those who ghost because they care. In eight different studies, Park & Klein (2024) found that some people had disappeared because they didn't want to hurt other parties with rejection speech.

They feel silence is a gentler way. But the reality is the opposite, silence creates confusion and prolongs pain.