Want Children To Achieve? Teach These Important Skills Early

Illustration of Indonesian children (Pexels/Rosyid Arifin)

JAKARTA - Every parent wants their child to grow up to be a successful and happy person. According to psychologist from Yale University, the main key is not only intelligence or academic achievements, but the ability to manage emotions.

"Emotional regulation as a superpower is owned by the most successful and creative people," said Zorana Ivcevic Pringle, PhD, senior researcher at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, quoted from the CNBC International page.

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and control feelings, both fun and difficult.

"Regulating emotions is not just a matter of feeling happy. It is the ability to face uncertainty calmly, accept frustration, and keep moving forward," explained Pringle.

This means that children need to learn that disappointment, anger, or anxiety is natural, but they can also choose how to respond to these feelings.

In the process of learning and growing, children must experience failure and frustration. If they are not used to managing emotions, that experience can make them give up easily.

"People need a whole range of emotions to be successful in their work and life," said Pringle.

Children who are able to regulate their emotions will be more resilient, focused, and creative in finding solutions.

There are several simple steps that parents can start teaching:

1. Use Activities Wisely

People who are good at managing emotions are very careful in choosing how they spend time. They know which activity is draining energy and encouraging. This strategy is called situation selection.

It does not mean avoiding challenges, but still stepping towards personal values and goals. For example, children do homework feels heavy and full of obstacles. However, if from the start we realize that discomfort is only temporary and the final result is valuable, then emotions are easier to control.

2. Change the environment

Pringle gave an example of having to divide his time between his work as a researcher and the issuance deadline. It was difficult for him to move from data analysis to writing. The solution is to change the workplace.

"Instead of writing on the desk, I went to Barnes & Noble. It gave a signal to the brain that this task is different from a different goal," he said.

By changing the environment, the child feels more free and the progress is more consistent. Changing the atmosphere helps the child to manage his emotions.

3. Divert Attention

Like physical pain that can be reduced by distraction, negative emotions too. If the child is frustrated, then take a break or do other things to help relieve emotions while giving a new perspective.

A study found that children were creative when facing challenging targets and being able to change their focus between tasks.

4. Change How To View Failure

Failures usually lead to disappointment, frustration, and despair. That's natural, but it can be a barrier to trying again.

Pringle recommends that children continue to feel curious. Sometimes anxiety does not mean that children are weak, but really care about something.

5. Change Reaction, Not Just Expression

Often children are required to remain friendly even though they are actually tired. This condition is called emotional labor. According to experts, there are two ways so that children can deal with this kind of situation.

First, surface acting, which is pretending to feel the emotions demanded. This method may work for a moment, but tends to be tiring and drain energy. Second, deep acting, which is trying to really change feelings so that they are truly in line with the situation.

"Deep acting is better, because it encourages children to go to a more sincere, motivated and creative place." said Pringle.