Couples Often Keep Secrets? Turns Out This Is The Reason

Illustration of why couples often keep secrets (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA As a couple, everyone believes in not keeping secrets from each other. But according to psychotherapist Amy Morin, LSCW, the results of a survey he conducted on 1,000 married people found that 40 percent of him believed his partner kept at least one secret from them. Although some secrets seem harmless, diplomacy could erode trust. According to Morin, here are the reasons why couples keep secrets in their relationship.

One of the reasons for keeping secrets in a relationship is because it protects oneself, explains Morin as quoted by Psychology Today, Thursday, June 20. Sometimes or two for cases that are not dangerous, maybe it doesn't have much effect on trust in a couple's relationship. But it needs to be understood, couples keep secrets because they maintain their own reputation. It can also be because they are afraid of being judged, ashamed, or afraid to be rejected.

Your partner, when hiding secrets, may already consider many things. Including wanting to protect you from unpleasant feelings. So maybe, because of this your partner is hiding something for good.

If you feel annoyed, angry, or sad, you should save it for a while. You may also assume a lot when your partner is dishonest. However, find the most appropriate time to discuss it together.

The last reason why your partner keeps secrets is because they try to protect relationships. Your partner may assume the best way to continue the relationship is to keep it a secret from you. This is why they may try to convince themselves that being dishonest aims well at a relationship.

Keeping secrets, explained Morin, can be tried to avoid damage. By keeping things a secret, relationships are felt more peaceful. Because the truth can make your partner angry or upset and lead to conflict.

That's the reason why your partner kept things a secret from you. However, according to Morin, secrets can in reality have a negative impact on the health of a relationship. Usually if it is revealed, it will erode trust. But you also can't force your partner to always be open. It's just that, being able to create an environment that encourages honesty while still sharing information, managing responses, not shouting when upset, and discussing what each person expects to be in pairs. It's also important to remember, even though couples have to be honest with each other, they still need to respect each other's privacy.