YOGYAKARTA - Have you heard what emotional blackmail is? The reason is, this often happens around us! Therefore this time we will discuss it here so that all of you know the dangers of the emotional blackmail! Listen to the end, yes!

Emotional blackmail is a condition where you always get threats from your partner, ranging from mild threats to threats that can endanger your life.

The reason is, the emotional blackmail they do to control everything that is in the multiplication and make you obey them.

Launching Susan Forward, a bookwriter with the title "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You" explains that emotional blackmail is a form of manipulative emotional extortion.

Not only that, Susan also said that there are several examples of emotional blackmail or emotional extortion behavior.

Here are some examples of emotional blackmail attitudes that we need to know!

Examples Of Blackmail's Emotional Attitude

I. Ask To Do Something

The first step that couples try when carrying out blackmail is by submitting a request. Of course, they submitted the request just to make you obey.

Couples may explicitly prohibit you from making hangouts with friends or even they will follow you if you do it.

Couples may be able to implement it more subtlely, such as silence you and make you look for the roots of the absorber.

II. Show resistance

When Kaian doesn't do what your partner asks, they will show resistance to you.

Of course, they will experience various kinds of resistance, such as continuing to convince yourself to show aggressive resistance, such as anger and even damaging local objects.

III. Suspension Continues To Stimulate

Couples who carry out emotional blackmail will continue to press You to fulfill their demands. They will try to persuade and criticize and demean you.

Not infrequently, when you try to stop what you are doing, it makes you seem guilty and do not try to maintain a relationship.

IV. Threatening

Another thing that couples often experience when carrying out emotional blackmail is by giving threats.

The threats given must vary from kind of destroying your career, causing you to lose your jobs, to harm yourself.

V. Makes You Give Up

Of course you don't want them to be used continuously by their threats, so you sort them out more. Surrender can be the final process of emotional blackmail.

The reason is, when you surrender from the threats you have, it is possible to provide a way of peace in bonds.

VI. Utilizing Weak Points

Couples who are accustomed to implementing emotional blackmail will always look for methods to keep pressing you.

In fact, there are times when they understand certain ways to use your weak points, so that you will easily give up and grant their request. From your weak titi, it is this repetition that occurs, so it is difficult for you to escape this emotional blackmail.

So, those were some examples of emotional blackmail attitudes. If you have felt this attitude while in a relationship, don't hesitate to take a firm stance!

How To Handle Emotional Blackmail

Being in a deadly circle with emotional blackmailers will make us live haunted by guilt and frustration. Therefore, it is very important to get out of this deadly circle.

Implement SOS Before You Respond To Requests

Someone who tries to manipulate, could urge us to respond quickly to his request. In a state of confusion, it could be that it is easier for us to give up on someone's request before all of them consider other possibilities.

Launching from Forward, he provides guidance for us to practice SOS, namely:


Give yourself time to think. Don't rush to make decisions and immediately obey the perpetrator's wishes. Try to say to the perpetrator 'I can't decide at this time. I'll think about it and give my answer later.'


Observation and identification of reactions, thoughts, emotions, fears, and self-factors. By increasing our description of ourselves, we will be able to reverse the conditions and take over our agency which is trying to be captured by the perpetrators.


Analyzing the demands and potential impacts of our compliance with the perpetrators and ourselves. The demands of the perpetrators can have an impact on our lives, therefore we must think about our condition when the demand is submitted by the perpetrators, the risks and consequences that will arise if we fulfill the existing requests.

Set Limits

Sharie Stines, California-based sexist therapist said in Hack Spirit, people who manipulate have poor boundaries. Therefore, we must recognize and set our own boundaries. Affirm clearly, calmly, and consistently existing boundaries.

Creating boundaries will help us produce distance from physical and emotional tensions and help us understand ourselves better to understand what thoughts, feelings, and emotions we have. This will also emphasize our position in front of the eyes of the perpetrators.

In addition, read also related interesting readings: 'Can The Criminal Accustomy Be Charged?'

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