Psychologist Says Couples Don't Need To Compar When Building A New Marriage Relationship

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Jakarta - Family psychologist and marriage Yulistin Puspaningrum conveyed the importance of avoiding comparing potential new pairs. With the previous couple when deciding to build a new marriage relationship after the divorce.

"We are looking for a mate that can close the past, meaning we don't compare it with the previous couple," said Gadjah Mada University graduate, as reported by ANTARA.

He said, everyone has their own character and personality, therefore it is better not to compare the prospective new partner with the previous partner. It is better to focus on efforts to build a family with a potential new partner. According to him, it is also important for couples to present an atmosphere like dating in an effort to build a relationship.

"In married life, they need time to be together like dating again. Sometimes there are parents who don't have the heart to leave their children because they are still young, (if this is the case) they can ask you to take care of their children first," he said.

If one of them already has children, he said, then the child should be introduced to a new couple and given time so that they can understand and accept that the mother or father will marry the person.

"If you look at the character partners, they are okay, we persuade them, children still don't want to, so they will be decided immediately, whether they want to continue to stop prioritizing children," he said.

He emphasized the importance of considering the child's feelings and opinions in making decisions to build a new marriage relationship after divorce. However, if the child does not accept the presence of a new person in the life of his father or mother for no logical reason, such as not wanting his parents to be with other people, Yulistin said, a partner can consider continuing the relationship because it could be a refusal to occur because the child does not understand the needs of his parents. He also stated the need to communicate wedding plans with the extended family.

"If you don't agree, what are the considerations... If for example the considerations are illogical, then take the path, don't pay attention to the considerations," he said.