6 Constraints Of The Generalized And Needs To Be Developed Coping Strategy

Illustration of the limitations of generalized coding strategies and needs to be developed (Freepic/wayhomestudio)

YOGYAKARTA Coping strategies or styles of overcoming certain obstacles are owned by everyone. This strategy began to be developed from childhood obtained from parents. Parents exemplify several styles of coding and some of them are created themselves when experiencing fear, a chaotic environment, harassment. This strategy is still being carried out until adulthood. But when you grow up, a number of coding styles that are outdated and have limitations, need to be re-developed with a new perspective. Here's a common style of coding and how to improve it.

We may be kind and hold on to the motto I'm happy if you're happy by avoiding conflict or doing what others expect. Doing this, means being pushed by necessity, not our own will. It also tests self-constraints, which can often explode at the end of the day or get bored and upset because living in someone else's life is not your own life. According to Robert Taibbi, LSCW., certified therapist and professor at a number of universities, the challenge of building a new perspective from such an outdated coding style, is to take risks.

You need to learn to tolerate strong emotions, namely emotions you yourself and others. For example, by saying no if you don't meet your needs, stay accommodative, and find out what you want rather than always being pushed by necessity.

In the classical fighting method, when threatened or hurt, a person will attack. But over time, this could be an attitude against the world, because you are always filled with distrust, persistent rejection, and opposition. It is important to know, anger can invite problems and sometimes make other people ignore what you say.

Taibbi's advice, rather than exploding out of anger, learn to use anger as information so that your needs are heard by others. Develop a wider range of emotions, such as hurt or worry, so that others can better understand you and see your vulnerability. This, in turn, will help you connect with others and have intimacy.

Still a cold handling method. When there is a problem, a person may be overwhelmed, withdraws, and closes himself. But this can also make other people unknown to you. Taibbi's recommendations are reported by Psychology Today, Sunday, January 14, as well as accommodators, you need to learn to take risks such as by being assertive, finding out what you want and need, and stop following the flow.

Instead of overcoming the problem, someone who likes to cut the road often leaves without solving the problem. By doing this coding style, it's not that the stability of relationships with others will be awakened, but instead finds a vulnerability to the relationship. To improve this coding strategy, it's important to take the risk of getting closer and finding solutions to the problems you're experiencing. Learn to solve the problem and know that it's okay to take small steps or ask for help.

There are disturbances in the head that constantly scold themselves after making mistakes. This usually forms from people closest to you or parents who often criticize their children. So that a educated person becomes a perfectionist. The limitations of this coding style, makes you constantly demean yourself, live in fear of making mistakes, anxiety, and depressed. To overcome this, learn to lower expectations and set priorities. Take the risk of making mistakes and see that mistake is not a failure, but as a step in learning and growth.

It is important to be vigilant to gain security in a volatile environment. But as an adult, vigilance continues and often turns into anxiety. Which makes us always worry and imagine the worst scenario. If you always live with the image of the bad future, it makes you never appreciate the present. Maybe it takes negative things to deal with anxiety, such as drinking alcoholic beverages to drugs. To overcome this, you can learn to stop thinking about the worst-case scenario. Learn to enjoy a day without being haunted by anxiety what happens tomorrow.

Those are the six styles of coding that have been developed as children but have to be changed for the better with the aim of reducing stress, anxiety, and building close relationships with others.