YOGYAKARTA As an adult, you may know how challenging life is. In overcoming the dynamics, of course being responsible and feeling empowered is the key to overcoming all problems. Well, to teach children how to be empowered, solve problems, and be responsible, experts advise not by giving instructions to children.
After school, maybe your child complains of fierce teachers, complicated subjects, and recalcitrant school friends. They are not weak children but need to be taught how to be more empowered so that they are responsible and able to solve their problems. How? Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., parenting expert and Playful Parenting writer recommend not to scold or wisely instruct solutions. Just ask the three questions below, and the children begin to find solutions and forces to make things happen.
Children complain to their parents because they feel helpless. By asking 'what have you done', parents try to strengthen their children in dealing with a problem. But keep in mind, because they haven't found a solution doesn't mean they don't try.
For example, the child tells the story of his friend who grabs his toy without permission and he doesn't respond but another friend reminds him. Children do not respond because they are helpless, and this is okay. They don't find a solution, but need the strength to collect to find their own solution.
The second important question is expressed by parents to their children who complain about the problem at school, is whether to ignore getting your job done? In the case of the first point, the child ignores his naughty friend. But does he have a solution to the problem? Parents need to ask about it. Children may realize that they actually have good ideas but don't work perfectly. Or they may realize that their idea may be dangerous if done. This means they may choose to ignore it.
According to Cohen, if the child doesn't try any solution, that's okay. But try to stay in touch with the chat about how the problem is at work. Starting from the effect if it is ignored to the reason why his friend took his toy.
Overcoming problems or solving problems requires to be creative, including in early childhood. The third question that parents need to ask their children is what do you do after knowing the effects and reasons?. This question sparked children's creativity in finding solutions and being responsible for the solutions they made.
The three questions Cohen suggested, may not immediately give birth to perfect ideas. Maybe children will more often answer don't know and the conversation is over on the verge. However, parents can still be proactive in collaborating with their children to solve problems and find their own solutions to their problems.
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