Fetish According To Sexologists, Normal As Long As Not Tolerate And Violation Of Approval From Couples

Illustration of the sexologist's explanation of fetish (Unsplash/Artem Labunsky)

YOGYAKARTA Having sex is a preference for everyone who couples. In a sexual context, it is known that fetishes tend to be considered 'unnormal'. However, according to sexologists have specific fantasies in sexual intercourse, it's normal as long as it doesn't hurt your partner and prioritizes consent from your partner.

By definition, fetishes are classified outside of'sexual norms' but do not mean any sexual desire that is considered strange is eligible as a fetish. There is a line separating fetishes from something you like. That is, preferred is not always a fetish. If you like occasionally blows on the buttocks, it is acceptable but does not mean you have a hitting fetish. Fetish is an object or act that must be part of sex so that a person can be aroused.

A researcher at The Kinsey Institute reported by Glamour, Monday, November 28, Justun Lehmiller, Ph.D., mostly fetishes are considered a learned behavior in which one associates certain objects with sexual arousal through experience. It may come from childhood or youth so it may find fetishes as sexually experienced adults.

Daniel Saynt, sex educator and founder of The New Society for Wellness, says that you may not know that you like fetishes until you try them. That's why, sex always requires something new. In addition to maintaining warmth with your partner, you also know about yourself.

Most people have sex fantasies, and often feel strange about their fantasy. But most are completely harmless. As long as it doesn't cross the line, such as breaking someone else's consent and hurting. For example, if you like cutting a net while making love.

The above has explained the normal side of the fetish. When fetish damages sex life because it is out of control, it means that Haris meets the therapist and undergoes therapy.

Healthy and positive ways with the fetish you have, have to communicate with your partner. You need to be open about what you like. That way, a lot of shame and stigma around fetishes can be discussed with your partner so as to find consent and give your partner time to understand you.

Open with your partner, according to Lehmiller, to build equal trust and communication skills. When experimenting, always evaluate how you feel with your partner. Because it's easy for you and your partner to feel comfortable and sexually satisfied.

If it doesn't work, it's okay, because not everyone will have the same preferences. Lehmiller adds, open and honest discussions are important. Embarrizing couples for what they like or not, is not a productive way to progress in a relationship.