JAKARTA - If you decide to forgive and trust another person again after being betrayed, here are some tips on how to make the process better for yourself as well as for others.
Put yourself first
After being hurt by someone you love or care about, you will usually find that you have put the needs of others before your own. However, you should always put yourself first.
For that, while in the process of restoring trust in others, try to improve relationships with yourself. Recognize the sense of insecurity that exists within yourself and try to ignore it to focus on other people. Learn as much as you can from this insecurity.
Communicate your expectations
It's important to communicate what you expect when you are in a relationship with another person. If someone has broken your trust, try to communicate the parts that disappointed you with their actions. Explain what they did to break your trust and what needs to be done if they want to regain that trust. When you communicate expectations with other people and they fail to meet them, you know what to do.
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Set clear boundaries
Setting boundaries is important in any relationship, including your relationship with yourself. According to Psychology Today, Wednesday, April 20, "boundaries can be defined as the boundaries we set with other people, which indicate what we consider acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us."
Communicate your boundaries with the person who has broken trust. Tell them the behavior you won't tolerate, such as lying. Then, hold yourself accountable for sticking to the boundaries you set.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated by the person and end up in an endless cycle of forgiving the same carelessness over and over again. Once you've decided on your boundaries, stick to them.
Realize that building trust takes time
Once trust is broken, you have to start from scratch. Rebuilding trust takes time. The process and timing is different for everyone. Take the time it takes to rebuild your trust. You may need more time to accept the pain and this is okay.
Communicate with those closest to you or anyone else to respect your space and give yourself time to rebuild trust. The right people will respect your choices.
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