Trying To Be Happy Even Though It Hurts, Do It In 5 Ways

Illustration of how to live happily even in pain (Unsplash/Tamara Bellis)

JAKARTA – The problems are never ending, when hurt feelings such as sad, angry, hurt, or feeling other sad emotions, a person can try to get up and be happy. How can there be a glimmer of happiness in the midst of a storm of sadness?

According to Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., medical officer at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital Somerset, New Jersey, there are definitely ways to minimize pain by not manipulating yourself. As reported by Psychology Today, Saturday, January 15, Becker-Phelps recommends the following ways to try to be happy below.

1. Admit experiencing pain

The facts about pain are irreversible. Therefore, acknowledging that feeling is the first way. Becker-Phelps gives an example, such as when you force an expression of steadfastness when you are hit in the stomach, this superficial expression of course is done in an attempt to divert attention.

Once you acknowledge unhappiness, then the purpose of feeling it becomes clear. Not feeling it is denying reality and deceiving yourself.

2. Accept the pain and stop making it bigger

If you don't want to be sad even if things don't turn out the way you expected, you can't prevent thorns from forming in your feelings, says Becker-Phelps. In a number of his therapies, Becker-Phelps treats patients who are depressed about their perfect lives.

This is experienced because they are not honest with themselves. As a result, they make the problem so heavy doubly.

Illustration of how to live a happy life (Unsplash/Wiliam Farlow)

3. Recognize what annoys you

The method recommended by Becker-Phelps is quite coherent. After accepting the reality of pain, identify how you feel in your body and sit down with how you feel. Because the less you know about your own unhappiness, the less you can cure it. Therefore, try to understand what happened to these experiences and why feelings respond with sadness.

4. Cultivate empathy and compassion for yourself

Knowing yourself is more important, because that way you can set your point of view, understand, and care for yourself. This way of connecting with oneself is called compassionate self-awareness, explains Becker-Phelps. With loving self-awareness, you can truly acknowledge the pain and have the desire to relieve it.

This allows you to work through your pain, for example by overcoming a misunderstanding. Or it may mean accepting that you can't change a difficult situation and allowing yourself to feel the pain.

5. Taking a break from pain

Becker-Phelps advises, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by the pain can be overcome by taking a break. For example, engaging in activities to calm yourself down and entertain yourself can help give you the resilience to bounce back from the cycle of contemplation.

When it hurts, it's important to remember that cultivating happiness doesn't mean denying reality. In fact, to be truly happy one must accept, love for what it is, painful feelings, and everything in its entirety.