JAKARTA - In establishing relationships with other people, closeness and mutual understanding are fundamental things that must be possessed. However, for some people, closeness actually triggers anxiety and fear.
Quoted from Verywell Health, on Friday, December 12, 2025, the psychological term for this condition is known as fear of intimacy. This is a condition of fear of emotional intimacy or closeness.
Fear of intimacy is a condition when a person feels anxious, afraid, or uncomfortable when a relationship begins to lead to emotional closeness, trust, or shared vulnerability.
This condition is not just reluctant to commit romanticly, but a deeper fear to open up and fully believe in others. This is done by one of them to protect them and the risk of feeling pain or rejection.
"It's a mask for the fear of getting hurt," said student Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT.
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Intimate in this concept is not only related to romantic sexual intercourse, but also includes sharing the deepest feelings, fear, hope, and life experiences. This causes one of the main impacts of fear of intimacy is the difficulty of believing the sincerity of others.
People who experience fear of intimacy often ask themselves about the treatment of others for them. Like 'whether they really love me, or just pretend', they tend to doubt the intimacy and sincerity that others offer.
This condition can occur because of past experiences, which make a person feel traumatized by rejection and hurt. When a person has never felt emotionally safe, they tend to doubt if others show genuine attention or affection.
For those of you who are experiencing fear of intimacy, although not easy, here are some approaches that have proven helpful to overcome them.
- Individual or partner therapy, especially those based on attachment and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), to explore the roots of fear and build a healthy way of handling them. - Improve self-awareness about the pattern of relationship and its origin from past experiences.- Practice open up to someone gradually.- Build honest and consistent communication with your partner or closest person.
Image: Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio
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