How To Identify Basic Emotional Needs In Relationships

JAKARTA - Everyone is in a relationship because basically humans need to love and be loved and feel appreciated and safe. But this is not the only basic need that everyone is looking for in a romantic relationship. So, what are these basic emotional needs and how to identify them? Here's to launch Life Hack, Tuesday, May 9.

Love language is the first concept described in the 1990s by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. The point is, the language of love is the way you accept and express affection in a relationship.

If you can identify the language of love, then you can better understand your basic needs in a relationship. There are five types of love languages, namely, physical touch, affirmation words, quality time, receiving gifts, and actions.

Every love language can be translated into basic emotional needs, physical touch is physical intimacy and sex, words of affirmation are the same as emotional support, receiving gifts means attention, actions done through help and support, and quality time means entanglement.

You can use simple training to find out what you value or can't stand in a relationship. Start by identifying things you like. Write "I like time or joy when" on a piece of paper at least 10 to 15 times. Then, make a suitable ending. You can use your current or past relationship as an example. The things you write are your needs.

If you can't define clearly what is most important to you in a relationship, try the opposite approach. That means showing the quality or actions you think are unacceptable. And again, take a piece of paper and write 'I can't stand it if or if I don't like it' a few times and finish each sentence.

When you have a list of needs, it's time to decide which one to have. It's okay to have a lot of standards and fight for perfection. But unfortunately, you may not find people who meet all the requirements.

The following method will help narrow your needs to five to seven critical matters. Write your needs on a small piece of paper and write what you think is most important and place them in front of you on a table or other surface.

Conversations are an effective way to check your partner's fitness and see if they see the same. In addition, this will help compare your values and limitations and determine if you share them.

When should you start mentioning your core needs? Things like having kids and spending money are a bit awkward to discuss on a first date. Others, such as vacation preferences, are safe to talk about at any time.

Generally, you have to wait four to five times on a date to be able to ask serious questions. Meanwhile, make sure chemistry and emotional connections before discussing serious topics. Otherwise, it's useless to waste time matching the value of life with your partner.