JAKARTA - In addition to bullying in cyberspace, workplaces, or schools, bullying or bullying can also occur in families among adults. Every adult in a family can be the perpetrator of intimidation and anyone can be the target. In the family, people who bully are siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, adult children, or even one of the in-laws.
If you are faced with bullying actors in the family, this response is what you need to know to deal with the situation, reported from the Very Well Family page, Monday, November 13.
Gordon's professional life coach and bullying prevention expert in Ohio explains that it's very important to learn to defend yourself whenever someone oppresses you. Assertive behavior means being honest about your feelings without acting aggressively, cursing, or being adventurous. Be specific about the problems you feel without having to be emotional.
But be prepared to face bullying that challenges your perception or tells you that you are unrealistic, selfish, or too sensitive. It's best not to listen to those words because it's just another attempt to control you or manipulate the situation.
In addition, be prepared to face the fact that the perundung may not respond as you would expect. And even though the situation may not improve at all, at least you have defended yourself and expressed feelings.
It is important to create firm boundaries between you and the perpetrators of bullying. Know your boundaries and personal values. This awareness will help you develop the right limits. Also, spend time thinking about how the actions of family members affect your feelings. These feelings and emotions will give you clues about what you want to change or what you can no longer tolerate.
Don't feel guilty in setting and enforcing boundaries. Your wishes and needs are valid, as are your feelings. You don't have to tolerate bad behavior just for the sake of your family.
When dealing with bullying in the family, stay calm and avoid acting angry or frustrated. Remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself. Control emotions and try to limit any interaction with the perpetrator.
It's also important to remind yourself if you have a choice. You don't have to live in an event or tolerate bullying. You can get out, fight the perpetrators, set boundaries, or try to ignore the perpetrators. Don't give what your child wants by reacting negatively or emotionally.
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Being near family members who bullied can drain energy and have a negative impact on health. After meeting the perundung, take time for yourself afterward. Traveling, reading books, or relaxing massage can be an alternative to pampering activities.
Do something that will help you relieve stress and eliminate the negative energy that the perpetrators bring. If bullying in the family starts to have a negative impact on your emotional health, look for a therapist who specializes in family problems.
Sometimes sharing details of experiences with trusted friends can help. The key is to find someone you can confide in. Avoid gossip, but look for someone who wants to support you when a bullying incident occurs.
Some people choose to tell other family members rather than friends, but be careful in doing so. Sometimes family members feel they need to improve the situation and in the end will cause more problems in the process.
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