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YOGYAKARTA Feeling insecure or insecure in relationships can erode trust and can relax relationships with your partner. The reason is, insecure can make a person under the umbrella of jealousy and trigger an argument. According to psychologist Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D., most of the unsafe feelings come from within ourselves. What can be done to overcome insecure or relationship is deemed unsafe? This is Vilhauer's explanation.

When you feel insecure, maybe because you often focus on something that is lacking in yourself. In most suitable relationships, each couple brings different qualities and strengths to complement each other. To feel safer in a relationship, it's a good idea to know what you offer to others.

A person doesn't have to be beautiful, rich, handsome to offer important things in overall relationship quality. Characteristics of personality are much more important, explains Vilhauer. Think about the properties you have as a person. For example, you may be good, trustworthy, funny, kind, or good communicator. These are the qualities that most people appreciate in your partner. That is, starting to focus on what you offer instead of what you think is lacking, this will change your perspective.

Research shows that insecure people have lower self-esteem. When you feel uncomfortable with yourself, it is natural to need validation from outside. However, welfare should not depend on others. So you can enjoy the sense of well-being that comes really likes yourself, and self-confidence is an attractive quality that makes your partner want to be closer to you.

Building self-esteem is not as difficult as it seems. First, learn to minimize self-criticism, train compassion, and focus on the aspects of yourself that you like. That is, you need to develop a positive quality of yourself.

Healthy relationships, established from two healthy people as well. By maintaining self-identity and meeting personal needs, it is the key to maintaining a healthy balance in a relationship, explained Vilhauer as reported by Psychology Today, Monday, July 10. When you depend on your partner in meeting all your needs, it will be easy to insecure.

Being an independent person who has things that happen outside of a relationship also makes you a more attractive and attractive partner. How to maintain your independence, among others, by taking time for friends, interests, hobbies, maintaining financial independence, and having the aim of increasing yourself apart from the goals of your relationship. The point is, don't forget to think about yourself and meet your own needs independently.

Feeling safe in a relationship, can start with confidence in yourself. Trust yourself, by listening to your conscience if something goes wrong. When you trust yourself, feeling safe is almost a guarantee. However, it's important to remember, no one is perfect. No need to be perfect to feel safe. You just need to focus on yourself.

The above are the five ways to deal with insecure in relationships. If you often experience feelings of insecurity in your relationship with your partner, try to talk privately. Spend time together and communicate assertively so that each person knows their personal needs and how to support each other's harmony in the relationship.


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