6 Ways to Set Your Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Illustration of how to set personal boundaries or boundaries (Freepik/Connyo_studio)

YOGYAKARTA - Boundaries sometimes make a person feel guilty. For those closest to you, for example, setting a time limit to hang out or to spend time relaxing together, often makes you uncomfortable. But not setting boundaries can lead to bigger problems. So why the need to set limits?

Boundaries are important because it is precisely with boundaries that are created, relationships are healthier. Boundaries can also protect you from being hurt or taken advantage of. This means that it is important to spend time, energy, and money on things that are important to us. To set boundaries without guilt can be quite challenging. But it can be done without hurting other people.

1. Understand that setting boundaries is not selfish

You may remind someone sitting in your chair. This needs to be understood, that boundaries are not selfish attitudes. Precisely limits are good for your health and well-being. In fact, setting boundaries is also beneficial for those around you.

Illustration of how to set boundaries (Freepik/Cookie_studio)

2. Boundaries can strengthen relationships

It may be hard to imagine how boundaries can make a relationship stronger. For example, you set clear boundaries for your children to make them feel safe. For example, intimate relationships and friendships are less likely to conflict when both parties are clear about each other's needs and expectations.

Boundaries can also encourage intimacy and connection, as they create emotional security that may be vulnerable. Also, with boundaries you can be more patient, have more energy managed, be less reactive, and have less resentment as a result of setting boundaries.

3. Setting good boundaries for you

One is less likely to feel guilty if one remembers that everyone has different needs. And by setting boundaries, you can meet your own needs in a healthy way. For example, to live a healthy life, you set a limit to only eat fresh vegetables and fruits. It doesn't make you feel guilty, does it?

4. Adjust the boundaries to your needs

To set boundaries, you need to know what you need. By tuning in to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations you can set boundaries, recommends Sharon Martin, LSCW., a practicing psychiatrist in San Jose, California.

Try to stop for a moment, ask yourself how you feel and what you need to have a better understanding of yourself.

5. Practice setting boundaries

Setting boundaries is a skill. Like learning any other skill, you need practice. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it's important to set boundaries according to your needs.

6. Be kind to yourself

Trying to take care of yourself or self-care, reported by Psychology Today, Monday, October 17, one of them is by setting limits. Setting boundaries isn't all or nothing. That is, not every boundary will be perfect. But every limit is useful for personal progress.

Those are Martin's six recommended ways to set boundaries without feeling guilty. Have you set boundaries in any aspect of life?