Can Destroy Relationships, Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome Desire To Control And Change Others

JAKARTA - In a relationship, it is only natural that a person wants to influence and guide their partner to behave and achieve certain results. However, when this desire turns into a very large need to control or change other people, it often causes unnecessary problems and stress.

Recognizing whether you are overly control can be an important first step in dealing with this problem. The signs may include constantly criticizing or correcting your partner, feeling anxious or frustrated when they don't do things the way you want to, or believing that you know better what's best for them. If you find yourself constantly trying to change your partner or feeling pressured when they act alone, it's likely that you're struggling against the tendency to control.

From the perspective of cognitive behavioral therapy, launching the Inner drama therapy page, Tuesday, December 31, here are five ways to overcome the need to control and change others.

Start by realizing your mind and how that mind controls your behavior. Mindfulness or full awareness can help recognize when you feel the urge to control and give you space to choose a different and healthier response.

Question the fundamental beliefs that trigger your need for control. Is it afraid of losing your partner's love or respect if they don't meet your expectations? By challenging this belief, you can start loosening your grip on control.

Instead of trying to control your partner, focus on open and honest communication. Express your needs and concerns calmly, and listen to your partner's point of view actively. Healthy communication can build trust and understanding without having to manipulate.

Learn to differentiate between what you can and cannot control. Set clear boundaries for yourself and respect your partner's boundaries. Understanding that you cannot change the behavior of others allows you to focus on your own growth and well-being.

Finally, prioritize personal care and development. Take time for activities that make you happy and satisfied, develop your own interests and hobbies, and seek support from friends, family, or therapists. By building your own sense of pride and happiness, you can reduce your need to depend on others who like to control it to get validation.

Releasing the desire to control or change your partner can lead to healthier, more satisfying, and greater inner peace relationships.