JAKARTA - For those of you who have read or watched the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, you must be quite familiar with the name BDSM. The term refers to sexual activities that involve violence to achieve gratification.
When a partner applies BDSM in sexual relations, it is usually accompanied by unusual actions, such as handcuffing, covering eyes and mouth, whipping, using sex toys, and so on. Despite using violence, actually, BDSM itself is different from sexual violence. Let's know the difference!
First of all, first, identify what BDSM means. So, BDSM is bondage and discipline (slavery and discipline), dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism. The impression is unusual. However, one thing that distinguishes sexual violence is the consent of both parties. Both will give unequivocal consent in a conscious state before doing so.
When it comes to sexual violence, only one party wants it without heeding the second party. So, even if his partner doesn't want to, he can force his will. There is also no submissive and dominant role, instead, there are perpetrators of violence and victims.
The concept of BDSM is quite complicated because the rules of the game are made clear. If you've watched Fifty Shades of Grey, you've probably seen the scene where they have a very formal BDSM agreement, black and white.
It is sadistic and cruel, but even here the submissive knows the consequences from the start and consciously gives his consent. In addition, the submissive and the dominant have the same right to negotiate against the existing rules. If someone feels uncomfortable, doesn't like it, or doesn't want to do it, both have the right to refuse and express their opinion.
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In sexual violence, there are only atrocities committed without rules, communication, and negotiation. It should be noted that BDSM aims to provide pleasure and satisfaction for both parties.
Maybe many people think that BDSM is very strange because even the submissive has a very similar position to the victim of sexual violence. This submissive will accept sadistic actions, feel pain, and even clearly treat lowly by the dominant. But back to the rules, everything is actually under control.
The practice of BDSM is not for everyone because it is difficult to understand. But if you think, who wants to be treated sadistically during sex, the truth is there is. Couples who do this also bond and trust each other.
His name involves violence, there must be fear if the submissive is too aggressive to do things out of control. Well, in BDSM itself there is such a thing as a safe word, a code that can be used by the submissive to control the situation if the dominant person suddenly crosses the line.
When the safe word is issued, the dominant must automatically stop any activity. This is where it shows that the dominant appreciates and cares about the safety of his partner.
In sexual violence, perpetrators tend not to care even though the victim is in danger. The victim also has no power to stop the perpetrator's actions.
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