It Turns Out, Because These 10 Factors Make It Difficult To Achieve Orgasm

Illustration of difficult to reach orgasm (Freepik/Jcomp)

JAKARTA – Reaching a climax when making love is not an easy thing to get for many people. The factors that influence it vary widely, ranging from sex positions to problems that hang in the head.

These factors are often not realized, according to sexologist Carole Altman, Ph.D., orgasm is the effort of every couple. A person cannot depend on his partner to climax. Furthermore, the following factors are common when you can't reach orgasm.

Less foreplay

You and your partner really want to have sex, but there are reasons for not being able to reach orgasm, namely lack of foreplay. Ivone K. Fullbright, author of the Hot Guide to Safer Sex, says that skipping the entire sexual response cycle makes it harder to let go.

According to him, most women need about 20 minutes to build arousal and reach the peak, orgasm. Altman added, having an orgasm during foreplay increases a woman's chances of climaxing during sexual intercourse.

Distracted mind

Sexologist Georgia Gloria G. Brame, Ph.D., says that your brain is an important part of the sexual experience. The brain will record sensations and release chemicals so that the body can receive stimuli and respond well.

When the mind is distracted by how it looks, the condition of the breast, or the location of a mole, it can make the stimulus not respond to the maximum.

Brame advice, try to focus and engage your whole body. Don't forget to touch yourself or change positions to keep the sex session fun. Fulbright also recommends doing yoga breaths to help make sex hotter.

Insufficient clitoral stimulation

In the clitoris there are thousands of delicate nerves that need to be touched during sex. According to Fulbright searches, it is rare for women to experience orgasm without stimulation of the clitoris.

Various sex poses also involve friction on the clitoris, such as the missionary position. Fulbright advice, make sure the legs stay tight so that when the circular motion and stimulation in and out can create friction between the lips of the vagina and clitoris.

Don't pee before making love

A full bladder can interfere with penetration. Holding pee can make a hot session in bed not all out. Even after sex, it is advisable to urinate which is useful in reducing the risk of urinary tract infections.

Too many position changes

Instead of trying new things, but changing positions, it is necessary to create a scenario first. The key to satisfaction is steady stimulation in a position that touches the sensitive points of you and your partner, says Brame.

Get to know the rhythm and dramatic ladder – from slow to medium to fast – to build a climax. The sensation must be consistent or you and your partner can lose momentum, explained Brame.

If because of this factor you do not reach orgasm, you and your partner can agree to improve in the second round.

Experiencing anorgasmia

Reported by Cosmopolitan, Thursday, June 17, in a study on sexual dysfunction, as many as 24 percent of women reported problems with orgasmic dysfunction. The causes vary widely, ranging from experiencing anxiety to taking certain drugs.

So it is advisable to check with the obgyn and know for sure the factors that influence and make it unable to reach orgasm.

The oxytocin hormone is too low

The hormone oxytocin is associated with feeling good or feeling love. Marriage and sex therapist, Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., says that if the body is not producing enough it will be more difficult to reach climax.

The effect of low oxytocin production is stress. Spending a lot of time with your partner, looking at each other, holding hands, and kissing have been shown to increase oxytocin.

Illustration of increasing oxytocin (Freepik/Yanalya)

Not drinking mineral water

Eden Fromberg, DO, founder of Holistic Gynecology New York says that drinking water throughout the day can prevent health problems and also help reach climax.

Reported by Woman's Day, the arousal network extends to the connective tissue system and cannot work optimally without adequate body hydration.

Less expressive

Holding your breath or not making noise when making love with your partner also has an effect on reaching orgasm. Relationship expert Laurel House says when something really excites you, express it with a sigh, a moan, or even a verbal word.

Not masturbating

According to a 2017 study in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, nearly 40 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and one of the activities that allows them to do so is masturbation.

Jenny Block suggests masturbating several times a week. If you are not comfortable using sex toys, you can do it by fingering or enjoying me time by indulging your fantasy and sexual imagination while touching every point of your body.