Finding Ways To Become More Independent And Reduce Dependence Tendencies

Illustration of Independent Life (Leeloo The First/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Have you ever felt that life depends more on others, of course with good intentions, so that unknowingly you lose little by little space for yourself? Often, the attitude 'always exists for others' turns into a tiring pattern, and in the process personal freedom and emotional balance can erode.

The following VOI invites you to look back at your relationship with yourself and others, as well as listen to six strategies that can help you become more independent, based on information quoted from Psych Central, Wednesday, October 29.

One of the characteristics of the tendency to depend (codependency) is the difficulty of setting personal boundaries both physically, emotionally, and in relationships with others. By setting healthy boundaries, you tell yourself and others how you want to be treated, while strengthening respect for your needs and values.

Setting boundaries is not a crackdown, but a form of respect for yourself that you deserve to express your opinion, desire, or when you choose to say 'no'.

Good boundaries will be difficult to maintain without clear communication. People who have a tendency to codependency often tend to be passive preferring to please others in order to avoid conflict.

Train to convey your needs firmly but remain respectful. Take a short time before responding to your inner voice so that your inner voice is heard. Say directly what you feel or need, without blaming. Listen too, but realize that your needs are equally important.

Emotional dependencies often arise due to weak or unclear self-identity, what you like, what you want to do, sometimes sink into a "cover" or " Entertainer" role.

By choosing your own hobbies or activities, you strengthen your relationship with yourself. Some examples of activities that can be tried, cooking, writing journals, painting, walking in nature, reading.

This is not a matter of pursuing perfection, but a matter of giving yourself space to 'be you' without relying on the consent or presence of others.

Time itself, which is done on purpose is not a sign of loneliness or failure in relationships with others. On the contrary, research shows that the loneliness chosen can increase self-esteem, emotional stability, and self-regulation abilities.

Use this time to calm your mind, re-evaluate priorities, or just enjoy silence. Thus, you learn to be comfortable with yourself and this is an important foundation for emotional independence.

One of the invisible burdens of codependency is feeling responsible for other people's decisions and well-being which in the end is tiring yourself. You can only control your own thoughts, emotions, and actions. Recognize these control limits and accept that you can't manage everything or everyone is a significant step towards freedom. Let go of the need for other people or feel guilty if things get out of control.

Being independent does not mean having to do everything alone, including recovering from repeated or in-depth pattern of relationships. If you find that a tendency to rely or a codependent relationship pattern has a strong roots or has a serious impact on your life, consider consulting with professionals.

Therapy can help you understand the roots of these patterns, learn new strategies. And support the process of finding healthy relationships with yourself and others.

Being independent does not mean ignoring relationships with others, but building a balance between me and us. With clear boundaries, healthy communication, meaningful activities, time for oneself, awareness of what can be controlled. And support when needed, you can draw up a lifestyle that gives strength as well as peace. Step by step, you will find that independence is not a burden but a release.