JAKARTA - In a relationship, it is natural that a person wants to influence and guide their partner towards certain behaviors and results. However, when such a desire turns into a very large need to control or change other people. This often causes unnecessary problems and stress.

Recognizing whether you have a controlling nature can be a crucial first step in overcoming this problem. Signs include persistent criticism or correcting your partner, feeling anxious or frustrated when they don't do things the way you want to, to feeling that you know better what's best for them. If you find yourself constantly trying to change your partner or feel pressured when they act alone. Most likely you are struggling against the tendency to control.

From the perspective of cognitive behavioral therapy, according to the Inner drama therapy page, Wednesday, July 16, here are five ways to overcome the need to control and change others.

Start by realizing your mind and how these thoughts encourage your behavior. Mindfulness can help recognize when you feel the urge to control and give you space to choose a different and healthier response.

Question the fundamental beliefs that trigger your need to control. Are you afraid of losing your partner's love or respect if they don't meet your expectations? By challenging this belief, you can start loosening your grip.

Instead of trying to control your partner, focus on open and honest communication. Express your needs and concerns calmly, then actively listen to your partner's perspective. Healthy communication can build trust and understanding without having to use manipulation.

Learn to differentiate between what you can and cannot control. Set clear boundaries for yourself and respect your partner's autonomy. Understanding that you cannot change the behavior of others allows you to focus on your own growth and well-being.

Finally, prioritize care and self-development. Take time for activities that give you happiness and satisfaction, develop your own interests and hobbies, and seek support from friends, family, or therapists. By building your own pride and happiness. You can reduce the need to always control others in order to get validation.

Releasing the desire to control or change others can lead to healthier, more satisfying relationships, as well as a greater sense of inner peace.


The English, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, and French versions are automatically generated by the AI. So there may still be inaccuracies in translating, please always see Indonesian as our main language. (system supported by DigitalSiber.id)

Add VOI as a Preferred Source
Follow VOI news updates across Google.
+