Getting To Know Fexting, Bad Communicating Ways For Couples And Mandatory To Avoid

Illustration of indexing in poor ways of communicating (Freepik/DC Studio)

YOGYAKARTA Fexting or fighting over the text means an argument via text. Text fights for two people in pairs can involve various kinds of emotional expressions. Starting from suspicion, it develops into a passive-aggressive response, then receives a defensive reply. Not to mention written text with all capital letters. Fexting may happen accidentally. Someone sends a message to his partner with feelings of annoyance, said licensed psychologist Karen Bridbord, Ph.D.

Sending text is an option in communicating, said Bridbord. There are certain conversations that are useless with text, one of which is when exchanging arguments or arguing. For the most part, couples are in conflict via text, said licensed marriage and family therapist Lori Schade, Ph.D.

When in conflict with a partner, the part of the brain that is active is the limbic system, especially the amigdala. Launching Women's Health, this part controls the fight-or-run response known as diffuse physiological stimulation (DPA). In this mode, the brain cannot distinguish between seeing sharp tigers and social conflicts, explained Bridbord. This can change the argument from zero to one hundred in one sentence.

The nature of text messages is very challenging, because they are prone to toneless miscommunication, facial expression, body language, and other contextal clues. So that people can interpret text in various ways and can even make responses to fight / escape and be triggered more quickly. Through text also people feel very criticized and misunderstood even though they avoid conflict.

Communicating via text while in conflict, is very vulnerable. Because someone who is angry with his partner actually needs a reply. The reply message will calm down rather than not respond at all. Not to mention that the mixing will be stored and people can read it again, and can bring it back into a new fight.

Communication via text, especially when in times of tension, will be filtered and understood and even perceived on everyone's mind. If it's a text message of two people who are paired, it might also be chaotic because it has no signs of an emotional context. Recommendations so as not to misunderstand due to sexting, take a break for a moment. Take 20 minutes to calm yourself down and ask yourself why you are angry, what triggers anger towards your partner, and what emotions and the underlying fear are. Instead of fighting and finding solutions through text, it's better to fix it when you meet in person.