JAKARTA - Taking care of children is often a fight of desire. You want your child to do something, but they don't want to. So, what to do if the scenario is like this?

Just like children who often demand the full attention of parents, you need to attract the attention of your children if they want them to listen. For example, if the child doesn't brush his teeth after you tell him five times, who knows they might not realize you're talking to them.

Therefore, make sure your child is not busy with toys or games when you ask him to do something. Also, try eye contact and then talk directly with your child, no matter how old they are.

Children will find it easier to talk to in a pleasant tone. It's the same if you tell them to do something. Avoid high notes when ordering. Unlike adults, children don't understand that a polite question is actually an order sentence.

So, rely on statements in a cheerful tone. In addition, research shows that children do not fully understand why or are ironic until they are about 10 years old. So using these things to get good behavior will also not work.

You can also learn from the way your child communicates. Pay attention to the words they use to ask your friends to do something, and compare them with the way you expressed the same request. Then, try using their exact words when you ask them to clean their room or dinner.

If that method doesn't work, consider whether you need to reduce your own vocabulary. Speak in simple words or say the same thing in two different ways. Children will better understand you and may even learn new words.

Children tend to cooperate if they don't feel rushed, but parents often don't give their children enough time to respond to directions. Children are neither easy nor quick to switch tasks. If you are tired of repeating orders, you may need to give your child more time to respond. You'll be surprised to see how often most children will obey orders eventually.

Just like adults, children want to know what to expect, so if your child avoids combing your hair, you can start by using it gently on your arm or stomach. Of course if you're in a hurry, it's a good idea to have another trick.

te Romero, MD, a pediatrician at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore, reported Parenting.com, letting the patient decide which ear they want to check first.

The choice will work if it suits what you want from the child. And if they refuse to vote, it is a signal for you to tell them you will choose for them.

If you can't give your child a choice, it's a good idea to try to explain your thoughts. For example, if toddlers don't understand why they shouldn't touch the stove, tell them it can cause wounds to the skin.

Your reasoning is very important to hear by the bigger kids because they start relying on logic. Encourage children to share their own thinking processes as well; it will help them learn to negotiate, which is an important social skill. For example, children want to play piano lessons. Instead of immediately rejecting their request, let them tell you why.

It's okay to give them leeway if they give good arguments, such as wanting to spend time with family and promise to train more at the end of the week. Don't give up if they beg and cry until they fall to the floor so that their wishes are met, it's not a negotiation tactic you want to reward.

Remember that children are happy to be praised. Actually they are happy to meet the expectations of their parents. So, every time the child succeeds in carrying out your orders, don't forget to praise them. Praise children can also foster confidence and pride. When children feel happy with what they have done, they want to do it more often.


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