Create Reflection Materials, Recognize 8 Toxic Patterns Of Relationship Between Mothers And Girls

Illustration of the toxic relationship between mother and daughter (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA Being an parents who accompany their children to grow, it is necessary to learn a lot from experience. This is because inappropriate parenting patterns can have a long effect on the mentality and even shape the personalities of children. For mothers who have girls, it is important to recognize the toxic pattern of relationships for reflection materials.

Girls who are raised by mothers who underestimate and doubt the validity of emotional needs, they feel unfit for attention. The girl also experiences deep and heartbreaking self-confidence.

The behavior of underestimating, according to Peg Streep, author of Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unsolving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life, an underestimating behavior occurs across the spectrum. While a child naturally needs and seeks closeness to their mother. That's why behavior underestimates and does not provide emotional validation to children, becoming a toxic pattern of relationship.

Underestimating is the same as ignoring, and the effect is the same as controlling the full. Controlling means not believing in children. Regulating children in detail, actually instills a sense of insecure and helpless in children.

Mothers who are not emotionally available mean being inactive and withdrawing when their daughters need support. The toxic behavior that describes emotional distance, including lack of physical contact, is not responsive to children's crying, nor does they pay attention to children's emotions.

Freedom of course has a limit, but it could be toxic if a mother snares her child to the point of not having the authority to choose. A child needs love and attention. Mothers also need to facilitate children's needs without exposing their children for other purposes. This means that giving children the opportunity to choose according to their preferences is accompanied by knowledge of their boundaries so that the relationship between mothers is no longer toxic.

Aggressive in the pattern of mother-child relations, cited from Psychology Today, Tuesday, September 3, including degrading their daughters, being too critical, being too protective, to compete with their children. Streep illustrates, the pattern of relationships that 'play with power' will not be healthy for children.

In many ways, children need a reliable parent. What happens if a child's mother is unreliable? According to Streep, all children form a mental picture of what real-world relationships are based on their relationship with their mother.

Girls can understand a tense, erratic, even insecure relationship, as well as from their relationship with their mother. The effect of a toxic pattern of relationships where mothers are unreliable by their daughters, makes children in adults less confident and often feel insecure.

The toxic pattern of relationship between mothers and children, lack of empathy. Lack of empathy in mother-daughter relationships, will build shallow relationships. Apart from the many manipulative tactics, toxic mothers also control their daughters for their own benefit.

A child needs warmth from his mother. But in the toxic relationship pattern, it is reversed. Children are asked to take a role more mature than their age. Children certainly do not have the capacity to act as adults. So children feel they have to act as mothers for themselves.

That's the toxic relationship between mother and daughter. As a reflection material, it is important for mothers to identify and constantly learn to be parents who can make their children feel safe and grow independently.