Considered Obsessive Love, These Are 5 Signs Someone Has Limence

Illustration of the definition of limberence, signs, and stages (Freepic)

YOGYAKARTA Limerence is a mental condition in the form of madness in someone characterized by an obsessive longing for that person. This condition is different from a simple romantic love. Because it is characterized by a deep obsession and an experience between euphoria and despair.

Limerence, a term sparked by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s. According to Eliza Boquin's relationship therapist, LMFT., this term refers to the feeling of joy felt when you first meet someone. During this encounter, someone with limberence often only wants more from that person. Because wanting to spend more time with him is filled with love flowers.

This condition is an intense emotional passion that longs for others. At first glance, the limeence is not much different from falling in love. But the limberence according to the therapist Silva Frontian, LMFT. reported by mbg, Monday, August 5, can be considered a fake love. At first glance it looks shiny but does not have a real substance.

Love and limberence both start from the push of the dopamine flow. That's why distinguishing the two is quite confusing. Limerence is temporary and conditional. While true love, is fluid and unconditional. When you really love someone, you want them to be happy regardless of what they can give you. Love is more grounded, while the limeence makes us in the clouds, ignoring red flags, the connection is unsustainable, rooted in possession, obsession, jealousy, and serving. More completely, this is a sign that a person experiences limberence.

Limerence is based on which nature and experience you choose with regard to the object of affection. Then form a bigger story about who they are. Because in one's integrity it is not only a matter of beauty, good, friendly, patient, and handsome or beautiful. So because the chosen view makes someone who is experiencing limberence unable to fully appreciate who is loved.

"The version that you might build on that person is just a fantasy that is echoed and exaggerated made specifically to represent the fulfillment of [you] needs that are not fulfilled," the Depanian explained.

Is the mind disturbed about it and makes your energy run out all day? Someone with limberence is marked by often creating moments that are not important to echo.

"You will be obsessed and sometimes accidentally obsessed even in the shortest and least important interaction you have ever experienced with a limberent object. You envision a shared future even if there is no real relationship," explains Depanian.

The moments of falling in love can be very challenging. Because to focus on anything other than the person you think is difficult. Your friends may complain when they see you obsessed with people who make you fall in love or a limarent object. Work is delayed because you are busy spending time with him. Real life only feels like a distraction when experiencing limberance.

"Other limberence marks are emotional dependence on limberent objects. If you experience strong longing, you will constantly try to get them to repay your feelings," said Depanian. Simply put, limberence is characterized when you over-interpret the meaning of actions and behavior of people you are not familiar with.

Someone with limberence tends to interpret behavior in all-or-no thinking at all. People with an obsessive love thirst for validation but mostly unilateral.

In addition to the limberence sign that needs to be recognized, it is also important to understand the stages. In the first stage, it is called infatuation or crazyness, which is similar to falling in love at first sight. The second stage, crystallization, this is where the limeence begins to face challenges, disappointments, and selects the nature and behavior as expected. Third, called a setback phase, instead of strengthening, the relationship is destroyed. Most likely, in the third custody, it is desperate, lost interest in itself, and it is not as imagined at the beginning.

After recognizing the signs and stages of limberence, Frontian gave advice. According to him, it is important to love someone with a real-life perspective, not fantasy.