Expert Claim: Overprotective Parents Can Trigger Children To Tell Lie

Illustration of a mother hugging a crying child (Unsplash / Jordan Whitt)

JAKARTA - The style of parenting has a big influence on the character of the child later. Based on expert claims in 2016, the overprotective parenting style of parents did not get good results.

One study examined the strict parenting styles of parents in the 1940s. Controlling and regulating whatever should and shouldn't be done by children actually causes lifelong psychological damage.

Launching the Independent on Wednesday, February 24, psychotherapist Philippa Perry stated that a child should not be blamed for lying. However, the stories that are far from the truth of the children are an impact of the parenting style.

The child's ability due to overprotective parenting style makes him more prepared to lie. A Canadian psychologist, Victoria Talwar uses the game Peeping Game to reinforce Perry's statement.

He researched two schools in West Africa, one with strict rules and the other with a more relaxed approach. Researchers asked children to guess what objects made a sound in the game.

In essence, in this game the child is asked to guess an object with only a sound that has no correlation with its shape. Researchers leave children behind when identifying. After the time was up, they asked the child if they were peeking or not.

Talwar found that there were some students from the school who applied the rules with a relaxed approach. Whereas children from strict schools lie quickly and are very effective.

Other findings were written by Ian Leslie in the book Born Liars- Why We Can't Live Without Deceit. A school that applies strict rules, according to Leslie, will actually create a very effective "machine" of con artists.

On another aspect, however, the same effect is the overprotective parenting style, according to Nathan H. Lents, Ph.D. - a professor of molecular biology at John Jay College at the City University of New York revealed about the acute stress that occurs in children.

Acute stress is a response to a fearful, competitive, or dangerous stimulus that lasts only a few minutes. For example, when the child plays on the swing. When parents are too protective and excessive in maintaining the safety of their children, their courage is low.

This acute stress occurs when the child does things he likes, such as playing on swings, slides, or flying fox. What is underlined in this acute stress is the pleasure aspect.

Although parents and schools have an obligation to ensure children's safety, Lents recommends that there is no need to deprive them of a safe form of stress. Because the effect makes children unable to cope with the stress experienced when they are adults.