YOGYAKARTA Trust in a pairwise relationship plays a significant role. The reason is, without mutual trust as a basis, vulnerable relationships are 'cold' and can trigger baseless jealousy. While building patience requires hard work and patience, clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., recommends the following so that your partner remains emotionally intimate.

Even children know that someone is saying things that are not true. In principle, we have an instinct to protect ourselves that has been evolutionaryly honed. So that we will adjust behavior and expectations and learn not to trust such people too much so as not to be disappointed. For that, the slightest lie will make other people not believe words that come out of their mouths. Therefore, to build trust, a partner must be honest with each other and tell the truth.

Couples who share vulnerabilities are actually developing bonds with each other. Not without mutual disputes, healthy or different arguments, is a moment in which couples share vulnerabilities. Not only that, light conversations are also a way for them to rely on each other and survive trials. Even knowing each other's bad side, according to Bonior, reported by Psychology Today, Monday, August 28, is also a way to express the vulnerability to be accepted as it is or corrected to be more prosperous.

One of the most damaging things about trust in a partner relationship is to underestimate or view a partner as lower than respect. The most basic thing about building respect is to consider a partner to be the same so that emotional intimacy is built.

When a relationship is being hit by a storm, doubts may arise. Bonior's advice, never doubt it for the sake of wisdom. Like when you start to doubt the future of an irreparable relationship, try to open up with your partner. That way, both try their best and build confidence together. When agreeing together, then you can put doubt aside. This means, doubt can be exploited to strengthen and re-escalate emotional ties with your partner.

Emotional optimism arises because they know that you can express your feelings for someone. This means you believe in that person because he cares and doesn't ignore you. That is, couples who can be good listeners, they will take the time to understand your point of view. This requires maturity to be able to talk about feelings without increasing to shout, attack verbally, or close the conversation.

Being vulnerable to each other can also be a joint effort, not only involving self-disclosure, but also a joint effort towards something useful. For example, by taking risks together, by adventuring while on vacation, changing a healthier lifestyle, or trying to expand the social circle together. Even expanding the mind with new ideas is also a useful effort to build trust.

Friendship research proves that how important reciprocity is in a solid relationship. This does not mean that each person gives exactly the same amount they receive. But both parties feel comfortable with the amount given and they feel relatively equal. Of course in a really close emotional partnership, couples both hope to be understood in a balanced way. For example, when one person needs to lean, the other fulfills it without calculation. That way mutual trust is built.

The above are the seven things that couples need to do to build trust that can be done at any time without waiting for trouble to come in the face.


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