YOGYAKARTA – Being emotionally ignored by those closest to you can make a person feel unloved and lonely. However, this emotional neglect occurs because both parties have certain conditions.

Clinical psychologist Kibby MacMahon, Ph.D. explains that emotional neglect is felt when others do not meet your emotional needs. This makes you feel rejected, unloved, and very lonely. Well when the people closest to us recognize or respond to our emotional needs, it is very important for our well-being.

Emotional neglect sometimes happens because your loved one needs space or doesn't know how to help. Skewed perception also often makes us very sensitive to feelings so that we feel abandoned, even though we are not. Or maybe you expect people to be emotionally available all the time. Feeling emotionally neglected, launching PsychCentral, Wednesday, March 15, someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), dependent personality disorder, and anxiety with attachment styles may experience.

pengabaian emosional
Illustration of the causes of emotional neglect and how to overcome it (Freepik/teksomolik)

Different levels of tolerance for each person also play a role in the emergence of a sense of neglect of the emotional side. Maybe someone close to you thinks emotional availability is 'expensive'. Apart from that, it is also necessary to understand that there are external factors, such as being busy with work and many other responsibilities. There are also internal factors that cause emotional neglect, such as different personality traits, tendencies, and histories.

Psychotherapist Joyce Marter adds, a person may feel uncomfortable in emotional situations, process feelings around similar experiences, deal with relationship fears, be unsure about how to show love, and not provide needed support.

Marter also explains, maybe you feel left out emotionally because someone you love is going through a difficult time. Such as financial challenges, job insecurity, relationship conflicts with others, and fear of commitment. MacMahon concludes, “staying emotionally connected is a two-way street.”

pengabaian emosional
Illustration of the causes of emotional neglect and how to overcome them (Freepik)

To overcome feelings of neglect and being ignored, you need to start a conversation. Express it openly and accept genuine efforts to connect with those closest to you. Remain calm when opening the conversation. Avoid expectations and be ready to accept whatever the result. It needs to be understood, you and the party that makes you feel neglected are 'team players'. Try to collaborate with each other and be less defensive.

When having a conversation, keep in mind that conversation is two-way. Consider listening as your loved one expresses his thoughts and feelings. Also, be a compassionate best friend rather than just criticizing which has a bad effect on relationship attachment.


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