5 Sentences You Shouldn't Say When Arguing With Your Partner

Illustrations (Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels)

JAKARTA - When you're fighting with your partner, you often can't contain your emotions until you say some pretty hurtful words. Maybe for a moment you feel satisfied to see your partner upset with your words. But when the emotion subsides, you will realize and regret having said those words. The reason is, hurtful words will only add to the problem, not solve it.

Citing Prevention, Wednesday, June 22, here are five words that can make fights between couples worse.

"Whatever, it's okay"

When you feel like an argument is about to break out, your instincts may tell you to avoid conflict early by saying "whatever, it's okay," to your partner. In fact, dealing with problems together is part of a solid relationship, according to Monica O'Neal, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and Harvard relationship expert.

"True intimacy isn't just about feeling warm and comfortable," adds O'Neal.

"It's also about being able to feel like someone safe enough to express anger. It's actually a very healthy and good thing."

"You are selfish!"

This may be the peak expression of your frustration when you feel the debate has not stopped. Unfortunately, these words also provoke a defensive attitude in your partner. Moreover, he was also as frustrated as the ongoing fight.

Dr. Rachel Hoffman, clinical social worker, and chief therapy officer at Real says these remarks will distract your partner from the topic at hand. Also, causing him to be provoked by other hurtful words to get back at you. Eventually, you and your partner will continue to argue.

"You never..."

Starting a complaint with "you always" or "you never" puts the other person on the defensive and is rarely verified. Dr. Rachel Hoffman suggests instead of blaming your partner, it's better to make a statement from your side. Try to explain your view of the problem at hand so that your partner will understand and want to try to find a middle point.

"I don't care!"

These remarks make your partner think that you really don't care about his opinion and feel ignored or belittled. No matter how angry you are, it's important to remain willing to listen when your partner is trying to express his feelings. You don't have to agree with what he's saying, but at least pay attention when he's talking.

Michele Goldman, a psychologist from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation, said that ignoring this couple would make communication even more difficult. In fact, if the couple is willing to listen to each other and open up, the existing problems will be resolved more quickly.

"Let's finish this quickly"

Arguments can be stressful and it's perfectly understandable to take a moment to breathe. But when emotions are running high, you can't just end the discussion. According to O'Neal, let your partner know if you need a break to rest for a while.

“Give me a moment to process this incident. After calming down, let's resume our discussion," suggested O'Neal.