YOGYAKARTA – People who are confident and selfish seem to be often judged the same. Sometimes people who are very confident are considered selfish. While selfish people are a little frustrating when in a chat forum.
Although they seem similar, self-confidence and egoism are fundamentally different. Citing the explanation of Nick Bognar, a therapist based in California, reported by Fatherly, Monday, June 20, if someone is really confident, then they will consider themselves worthy and don't care what other people think. Selfishness, on the other hand, because it revolves around other people, usually stems from low self-esteem.
If someone is selfish, Bognar explains, they are trying to increase their self-esteem by putting others down and doing their best to maintain their position, even at the expense of the relationship. All that needs to be done to identify a selfish attitude, according to the therapist, is action is just a blanket from deep-rooted insecurities. In contrast to confident people, they feel safe because they value themselves.
To maintain a fragile self-image, selfish people depend entirely on others for their sense of self. Grace Dowd, a therapist in Austin says that selfish people like external validation from other people. Because self-respect requires validation from others, selfish people are usually incapable of hearing negative feedback. They may respond by inciting or blaming others or even demeaning them.
Bornar added, selfish people perceive other people's success as a threat. They don't congratulate other people's achievements. Because of selfishness, healthy relationships may be difficult to establish. They may also find it difficult to collaborate with others.
Advice Kedall Philips, a therapist at Deer Park, suggests doing a few things so you don't get caught up in selfish attitudes. Like, first by admitting weakness. Obviously, weakness does not mean not having strength. Precisely by using weakness, one can increase the area so that it becomes a strength.
If you're in a relationship with a selfish person, suggests Dowd, change doesn't happen overnight. But addressing the selfishness of your relationship wisely, also makes you more comfortable.
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