Let's Not Be Branded A People Pleaser, These Are 5 Important Reasons To Build Boundaries

Illustration of the importance of building boundaries so that they are not labeled people pleasers (Unsplash/Kirill Balobanov)

YOGYAKARTA – People pleaser is known as an attitude that prioritizes others over oneself. In extreme conditions, someone who too often ignores his own needs because he prioritizes others, can interfere with mental health.

The author of The Working Mom Blueprint: Winning at Parenting Without Losing Yourself, Whitney Casares, MD., MPH., FAAP., gives reasons why it is necessary to have boundaries, one of the goals is so that personal priorities are not neglected because of being a people pleaser.

1. Other people's plans don't always match personal conditions

Plans are ideally made by agreement. You may express your opinion so that the plan can be worked out together and according to your personal conditions. The simplest thing, when a friend schedules a meal together at a seafood restaurant while you are allergic to seafood. This means that you have the right to refuse or make suggestions without fear of disappointing your seafood-loving colleagues.

Illustration of the importance of building boundaries so as not to be labeled a people pleaser (iStockphoto)

2. You have the right to feel at ease in carrying out your priorities

A people pleaser can never be at ease because there will always be someone upset or a fire to put out. And they have to be the ones to do it. You deserve to feel at ease running your own priorities. In fact, you don't have to worry all the time because you have to make sure other people feel good.

3. Avoid fatigue without realizing the reason

Everyone feels tired, right? This feeling requires rest, but many factors trigger it. One of them is because he constantly meets the needs of others and puts his own needs behind. The effect, will feel tired without realizing the reason.

4. Boundaries are necessary to limit the opportunity to be manipulated

Manipulative people often use other people for personal purposes. In order not to be taken advantage of, you need to establish boundaries. Do not be reluctant to refuse or say no.

5. Establish boundaries to make it clear what is wanted or needed

Not everything you want will be needed. So by building boundaries, you will be more detailed in considering which ones are really needed. So that you know which are priorities or should take precedence and which ones can be ignored.