5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Seek Recognition From Other People's Experiences

Illustration of self-recognition or validation related to self-actualization (Unsplash/Kirill Balobanov)

JAKARTA – Seeking acknowledgment from other people's experiences is called validation. Someone who is fairly independent also needs validation. It's just that they know very well their own abilities without having to be convinced by validation from others.

According to Sherry Gaba, LSCW., a licensed psychotherapist who treats depression, trauma, and anxiety, validation is part of being interdependent and relying on feedback and encouragement from others around us. People need self-validation, but not just from other people, according to Karen Hall. By validating oneself, one can recognize one's abilities and acknowledge one's own internal experiences.

Although sometimes we need to respect other people's opinions, we don't need to always seek validation. Why? This is the reason.

1. Inhibits self-actualization

According to Abraham Maslow, as reported by Lifehack, Thursday, March 17, self-actualization is our own ability to realize our potential, develop it, and utilize it. Self-actualization is also the basis for achievement. However, self-actualization is achieved when basic needs, both material and psychological, are met.

Basic material needs include clothing, food, shelter, and security. While psychological needs are obtained when you have a healthy sense of belonging, love, and self-esteem. So not surprisingly, a person to develop self-actualization requires the 'fullness' of basic psychological needs so vulnerable to depend on others.

Illustration of self-recognition or validation related to self-actualization (iStockphoto)

2. Weakening oneself in living life

Relying on recognition to develop abilities makes us weak in life. Sometimes it is necessary to verify whether or not the selected steps are correct. But when you constantly seek the approval of others, you open the risk of experiencing anxiety and depression. The reason is, if you don't get a confession, it undermines your feelings and you can't make your own decisions.

3. Does not recognize basic needs

What is needed when having a specific goal needs to be recognized without validation from others. This is where the position of learning and making mistakes is important. Therefore, learning from mistakes can make us more independent in recognizing basic needs without always having to be validated from the experiences of others.

4. Weak self-esteem

A person will feel valued if they have fulfilled his basic needs, by himself of course. This means that you don't need to be a person's pleasure to get a healthy self-esteem. You can rely on your intuition as well as your abilities and potential to get certain achievements.

5. Happiness becomes dependent on others

Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses will help identify what it takes to lead a happier life. It means making self-actualization as a material to build the pillars of happiness without relying on recognition or validation from other people's experiences.