Why Do Couples Like Stalking? Study Explores The Reason

Illustration of reasons why couples like stalking (Unsplash/Daria Nepriakhina)

JAKARTA – Stalking or giving excessive attention without approval certainly makes you uncomfortable. The attention given is done by checking contacts, social media, or contacting repeatedly that is not wanted by the victim. Does your partner like stalking? The study explores the reasons why someone performs these actions.

A study published in the Journal of Personality in 2021 explores the causes of stalking. Researchers show that the reason people engage in 'stalking' is due to an obsessive desire and fear of abandonment. Reported by Psychology Today, Friday, February 18, obsession in relationships has 8 components, including excessive courtship behavior, interactional contact, mediated contact such as cyberstalking, surveillance, invasion, harassment and intimidation, threats, to violence.

Obsessive passion is also related to self-esteem and dependence on relationships so that romantic relationships dominate their lives. Four studies explored the reasons for stalking behavior in romantic partners.

Illustration of reasons why couples like stalking (Unsplash/Thom Holmes)

The first study involved 223 participants (114 men) with an average age of 35 years. The average length of time in a relationship with an ex-partner or romantic partner is 4.4 years. The study measured romantic arousal, experiences of abuse, and obsessive relational intrusion. The measure of this variable was associated with harmonic arousal which negatively affected aggressive behavior and harassment. While obsessive arousal was positively related to pursuit tactics and aggressive behavior.

The second study, still measured the same variables, namely romantic arousal, commitment to the relationship, relationship satisfaction, investment in relationships, alternative qualities, fear of abandonment, and obsessive relational intrusion. The fear of abandonment is negatively associated with harmonious passion. This fear also mediates obsessive desires and stalking desires.

The third study, assessed how important a partner is to him, influenced by obsessive desires, harmonious desires, fears of abandonment, and pursuit tactics. As a result of this third study, participants who had an obsessive thought pattern experienced more fear of abandonment, leading to aggressive pursuit and tactics.

Furthermore, a fourth study found people who were more afraid of being abandoned were more likely to use aggressive tactics. Some of the reasons participants said that the thing that drove the aggressive tactics was the concern that their partner might be attracted to other people.

Fear of being ignored is what drives a person to become obsessive. The reason is that they are full of passion but do not experience satisfaction from other aspects of their lives so they are willing to be preoccupied with stalking their romantic partners.

Separation is also a big threat to self-esteem. This explains why they stalk and are so afraid of their romantic partner leaving them.