It's Not Always Good, These Are 3 Bad Effects Forcing Children To Apologize

Children's Illustration (Victoria Borodinova/Pexels)

JAKARTA - Not only the words 'please', 'thank you', and 'excuse me', saying the word 'sorry' also needs to be taught to children from an early age. Even though parents teach children to say sorry, forcing them to apologize when they do something wrong can actually have a negative impact on them. Launching Parenting, Wednesday, December 22, there are at least three possible consequences if parents often force their children to apologize. What are these impacts? Check it out below.

Embarrass the child

Adults often assume that apologizing will not reduce a person's self-esteem. But, sometimes to say sorry, even for adults is not easy. It takes time to convince yourself and get over your ego to apologize. Jamie Perillo, LPC., a child psychologist and family psychotherapist in Connecticut, USA, says that saying sorry can be embarrassing, and it doesn't help. Especially if you force them to apologize in public.

(Jessica Rockowit/Unsplash)

Making a child lie

Psychologist and author of Positive Discipline in Everyday Parenting, Joan Durrant warns that forcing a child to apologize when they don't understand his mistakes and losses will have a devastating impact on his childhood. "If they don't feel it in the moment, you train them to lie," he says.

Lying about what? Lying about their own feelings that they feel guilty and promising not to do it again, when in fact they do not understand what they did and the promises they made themselves.

Causing a child to have a tantrum

When his cousin cries when your child snatches his toy, he's also feeling the emotions of anger, disappointment, or annoyance at the same time. Going to him and asking him to apologize suddenly without validating the child's emotions first will only make the child feel neglected. They will be confused by their own emotional outbursts, so they are more at risk of tantrums.

Parents need to teach empathy and understanding the other person's point of view first while slowly teaching them about apologizing and why they should do it. In addition, parents must also set an example of apologizing to their children every time they make a mistake.