Why Do Pasustri Rarely Have Sexual Relations?

Illustration of husband and wife (Freepik/drobotdean)

JAKARTA - After the honeymoon phase passes, the dynamics of husband and wife relations often change, including in terms of sexual intimacy. In some couples, the intensity of sexual intercourse can gradually decrease.

However, in a number of cases, relationships can actually run without sexual intercourse at all. Then, what exactly is the cause of this condition?

According to marriage and family therapist, dr. Dana McNeil, sexless relationships can have an emotional impact on your partner.

"The husband and wife's life without sex can cause emotional pressure, discomfort, or a sense of dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole," he said, quoted from the Bustle page.

The term sexless relationship refers to situations when sexual relations between partners are very rare or even stop at all, and this condition is usually a source of anxiety for one or both parties. For many people, sexual intimacy is an important element in maintaining the quality of long-term relationships.

However, the main problem does not merely lie in how often couples have sex. Misunderstandings and inability to express their needs and feelings often root the problem.

"Many married couples innocently try to minimize the problem or ignore the problem because they don't know how to handle it. Some even feel embarrassed. It could backfire," said Dana.

Dana explained that there are a number of things that can trigger the cessation of sexual intercourse in marriage. One of the most common factors is fatigue due to daily routines.

Work activities, family management, and other responsibilities can drain energy, reducing the urge to have sex.

"For some people, sex is included in the list of activities (to-do-list) which makes them think that doing it must be totality. So that these wishes often disappear after getting tired of work or activities," he explained.

In addition, unresolved conflicts can also relax emotional and physical closeness. Even simple things such as distributing household chores can lead to distance if they are not managed properly.

"So that withdrawing from intimacy is considered to protect your partner and a way to regain control of relationships that are not in a good situation," he added.

Other factors such as health conditions, certain drug effects, or physical injuries can also affect sexual desire. For example, some antidepressant drugs are known to reduce libido.

The good news is that sexless relationships are not permanent conditions. To fix this, couples need to understand the root of the problem and be willing to communicate openly.

"You must be able to identify beliefs and expectations about sex, as well as the role you want in relationships. Start by self-reflecting," said marriage therapist Lesli Doares.

After knowing the cause, try to discuss with your partner honestly and not blame. Understanding each other is very necessary so that communication takes place effectively.

"The most important thing is that being open to potential behavior may also contribute to this problem, and try to empathize with your partner's point of view. Remember that the conversation is something that goes both ways." said Lesli.

By listening to feelings, needs, and views of each other, couples can find the right solution and rebuild intimacy that may have faded.