The Phenomenon Of Kohabitation Increases In Indonesia, Because Marriage Is Considered Complicated

The celebrity couple Tora Sudiro and Mieke Amalia admitted that they had cohabited or gathered together for two years, before finally getting married officially. (Instagram @t_orasudi_ro)

JAKARTA The practice of cohabitation and birth of children outside of marriage (nonmarital chieldbearing) is an increasingly common demographic phenomenon, especially in big cities in Indonesia. The practice of cohabitation is said to only harm women, and children born to this couple.

Gathering or cohabitation is living together as a husband and wife outside of marriage. The term kebo gathering is generally used when two people are not married to live together and are involved in romantic or intimate relationships.

The practice of cohabitation is being carried out in Indonesia. According to a study in 2021 with the title The Untold Story of Cohabitation said, cohabitation is more common in Eastern Indonesia, where the majority of the population is non-Muslim.

Yulinda Nurul Aini, a young expert researcher from the National Research and Innovation Agency (BRIN), revealed three reasons why couples in Manado (not yet published) prefer to hang out with their partners. The first reason is due to financial burdens, divorce procedures that are too complicated, to social acceptance.

"The results of my analysis of data from the 2021 Family Data Collection (PK21) belonging to the National Population and Family Planning Agency (BKKBN) 0.6 percent of the residents of the city of Manado, North Sulawesi, carried out cohabitation," said Yulinda.

"Of the total population of cohabitation pairs, 1.9 percent of them were pregnant when the survey was conducted, 24.3 percent were less than 30 years old, 83.7 percent were educated in high school or lower, 11.6 percent were not working, and 53.5 percent others were working informally," he added.

Indonesia is the country with the largest Muslim population in the world. The Indonesian people are also known to adhere to eastern values ranging from style of dress, manners, way of eating, to dating style.

However, over the development of the times, the values of easternness that Indonesia has been prioritizing have begun to shift, at least from how people view a marriage. Recently, many young people have decided to cohabit or live with their partners without marriage ties.

Nowadays, not a few young people view marriage as normative to complex regulations. They then view kepo gathering as a pure relationship, reflection of love and attraction of mutualism.

Ron Lesthaeghe, a professor of demographics and social science from Belgium, in his theory of the Second Democratic Transition puts forward the view that marriage has lost its status as a form of conventional unity based on norms and social values. Instead, the trend of cohabitation becomes a new form in family formation.

However, differences in law, culture and economic structure lead to significant variations in patterns and trends of cohabitation in various countries. In most countries in western and northern Europe, the United States (US), Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, cohabitation has legal recognition.

In the Netherlands, for example, cohabitation is considered as normal, as can be seen from the level of cohabitation efficacy which reaches 50 percent, with an average duration of more than four years, and less than half of these cohabitation couples proceed to marriage. Since 1998, the country has acknowledged various forms of partnership formation (relation formation) through Civil Solidarity Pact (Pacs).

This pact regulates cohabitation contracts, including registered or non-community cohabitations, while detailing the rights and obligations in cohabitation ties that are more flexible than marriage, including financial support, housing, taxes, and other social rights.

This pact helps reduce discrimination against unauthorized children (illegitimate children) or often referred to as haram children in Indonesia and provides substantial support for single parents.

However, it is different from Asia, where cohabitation does not get legal recognition due to the influence of culture, tradition, and religion. Cohabitation tends to occur in a short period and is often considered an early stage towards marriage because of the family tradition that requires couples to marry.

For example in Japan, data from the National Fertility Survey shows that about 25 percent of couples cohabite with an average duration of about 2 years, and about 58 percent of the total cohabitation pairs continue to the level of marriage.

The data also shows that child birth outside of marriage is only about 2 percent or the lowest among Organization member countries for Economic and Development Cooperation (OECD), an average of 36.3 percent.

In Indonesia itself, cohabitation is considered illegal. Indonesia regulates the issue of cohabitation in Law Number 1 of 2023 concerning the new Criminal Code (KUHP). In practice, this regulation will take effect in 2026 or three years since it was enacted in January last year.

In the new Criminal Code, rules related to cohabitation or kebo gatherings are contained in Article 411 and Article 412. Article 411 regulates the matter of adultery, while Article 412 concerning the crime related to living together without marriage. Perpetrators of adultery and cohabitation can be subject to criminal penalties. However, this case is a complaint offense. Complaints are also limited only by the people most affected, namely husband, wife, parents, or children.

However, this arrangement regarding cohabitation causes controversy. On the one hand, the state is considered to be too involved in the private sphere, but on the other hand, cohabitation needs to be regulated so that people do not take justice into their own hands and are free to arrest the perpetrators.

According to clinical and forensic psychologist Kasandra Putranto, sexual intercourse committed before marriage has various risks. That's because sex in marriage has tremendous benefits for household harmony, both psychologically and physically. Sex in marriage can also increase the bonding between partners, reinforce emotions and feelings for each other, and keep romance alive in domestic relations.

The impact of sex outside of marriage can vary depending on the individuals and the situations involved. Some couples may be able to overcome and fix problems that arise due to sex outside of marriage, while others may experience difficulties in building trust and harmony again," Kasandra told VOI.

In conclusion, Kasandra said, sex outside of marriage can affect the marriage life itself later, both psychologically and legally. For this reason, it is important for every couple to consider the values, commitments, and consequences related to sex outside of marriage before making a decision, and it is hoped that families and communities can increase protection for teenagers from various forms of sexual violence.