Infidelity Is Psychic Type Of Household Violence

The names of Elmer Syahherman and Bella Damaika suddenly went viral this past week. Both of them are cheating couples whose scandal was uncovered by Elmer's wife, Ira Nandha.

Elmer is a pilot who has an illicit relationship with his flight attendant from the same airline, Citilink. The affair was distributed to the public by Ira through her Instagram account. This mother of one child revealed the contents of the intimate chats between Elmer and Bella.

In her upload, Ira admitted that her husband had been caught cheating six times throughout his four-year marriage.

"Six times I was caught, five times with the same person, one time a different person. From the beginning I've been cheated on with the same person and I've always closed it. I managed to survive these four years with silence," Ira wrote on the Instagram account @irandha.

Making a marriage relationship is not as easy as imagined. There are always ups and downs to maintain the relationship that is expected to last until the death that separates.

One of the trials in a marriage is the occurrence of infidelity from one party. According to the Forbes Advisor survey in August 2023, infidelity or relationships outside of marriage were in second place as the cause of divorce.

The case of infidelity that was exposed to the public did not happen this time. Some time ago, netizens were also shocked by Inara Rusli's confession that her husband, Virgoun, also played with other women.

The scandal of infidelity also approached artists abroad. Vocalist Maroon 5 Adam Levine has an affair with his wife, Behati Prinsloo, with a model named Summer Stroth. The household of Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman also ran aground after Ethan had an illicit relationship with their household assistant, Ryan Shawhughes.

Cheating is often considered a form of escape because you are not satisfied with your partner. However, there are also those who say cheating is a sign of personality disorders. Some personality disorders, such as bipolar and eccentric disorders, are associated as a risk factor in infidelity in marriage. And, the expression that once cheating will continue to cheat is not a figment.

A 2017 study showed that those involved in infidelity had the possibility of cheating three times higher to repeat the same behavior.

When infidelity occurs repeatedly, according to this expert, it is closely related to psychological problems or mental disorders such as crissisism. In these disorders, infidelity is driven by feelings of ego and feelings to be admired. However, according to clinical psychologist and forensic psychologist Kasandra Putranto, cheating is not always a sign of mental disorders.

"Infidelity is not always due to mental disorders, but is caused by many factors," Kasandra told VOI.

Researchers argue that the desire to have an affair can be linked to something called the dopamine receptor DRD4 polymorphism. This is a sensation-seeking gene that also affects us to gamble or drink alcohol.

A 2010 study conducted by researchers at Binghamton University in New York, participants who have certain DRD4 genes are more likely to have an affair. In this study, 181 young adults were recruited to fill out a questionnaire about their sexual behavior, as well as submit DNA samples that will be tested to determine the variation of DRD4 in their respective DNA.

According to the team's findings published in the journal "PLOS One," everyone has DRD4, but the more levels, the more vulnerable we are to our tendency to look for sensations. In other words, we can be more interested in the temptation of negative things such as cheating, for no specific reason other than wanting to feel such a tense sensation.

On the other hand, psychologist Reza Indragiri Amriel has a different opinion. This psychologist who graduated from Gadjah Mada University (UGM) said that infidelity cannot be seen as black and white.

"Perhaps cheating is a spectrum. There is a gradation," said Reza via text message to VOI.

"Try, who has never 'launched' a man or a woman who is not his husband or wife? Who has 100 percent hearts never entered by someone else?" said Reza adding.

However, Reza emphasized that infidelity can also be considered as domestic violence. According to him, infidelity is a psychological violence. Victims who are cheated on by their partners have the potential to experience depression.

"Infidelity can be considered as a domestic violence type psychological violence. However, if the affair is brought to the criminal realm, what happens is hypercriminalization," he said again.

"It's different when it comes to adultery. It's black and white. But the definition of adultery in the Criminal Code is different from the definition in society," said Reza.