5 Things You Need To Discuss With Your Partner Before Deciding To Get Married

JAKARTA - Lately, married couples face many challenges that have never been faced by previous generations. Technological developments are one of the factors that affect the harmony of a relationship, including marriage.

Due to these developments, couples who decide to get married need to have serious and in-depth discussions. Which was never considered by previous couples before marriage.

Launching Life Hack, Tuesday, May 30, here are important things to discuss by your partner before getting married and should not be ignored. Because through this, your partner's mind can be revealed, also in order to determine the long-term compatibility of your partner.

As mentioned above, couples are currently facing challenges that couples have never experienced in the past. With this new challenge, conflicts will definitely come and couples need to anticipate it.

Couples need to have a plan on how they will deal with and resolve the conflict when that happens. It also means determining the party that can help when they are deadlocked.

According to the Pew Research Center, the family structure in the United States has changed dramatically. with mixed families becoming a more dominant family structure in society. With this additional family member, either through marriage or living together due to divorce, complex family dynamics is a problem in itself that can affect new married couples.

Couples considering getting married need to discuss how to define the role of a large family and where to set clear boundaries to minimize future problems. Couples form a new family that can challenge the dynamics of a family that has been formed before. Which can cause tension in newly formed pairs and cause conflict.

According to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, one of the main causes of divorce is dismatch'. Unmatch can refer to many things in marriage, including parenting, religion, political views, and financial or personal interests. So, this discussion is very important for couples to do regarding whether they have the same vision about the future.

The shared vision of the future does not only cover their current views on aspects of the relationship. But it also includes what potential the couple wants to create together in the future.

A study conducted by John Gottman and Neil Jacobson identified elements in the relationships needed for success called "receivable influence". The ability to accept the influence of couples is related to respect for partners, willing to be open to their thoughts and ideas, and the willingness to be flexible and compromise.

Couples who can accept each other's influence. Have a greater tendency to stay together and create stronger ties in marriage. Accepting influence doesn't mean you have to give in to your partner and agree with everything they propose. That is, both of you are willing to find a middle ground and maintain respect for each other if your thoughts are not in line.

Two topics that have always been the subject of debate between partners are money and sex. This topic also acts as a wedding health barometer. An in-depth conversation about these two topics is a must especially before getting married.

According to a study in the Family Relations Journal, financial disagreements between couples can be a major factor in divorce. With so many couples currently choosing to marry slowly or get married for the second time, or even the third time, money is an important issue that couples need to discuss.

Open and transparent communication is the key to discussing this topic. Money can represent survival, fear, independence, power, control, failure, and success. Depending on what financial background a person brings into marriage.